Picture by Elizabeth: White Out, 01/22/2005

Yesterday morning we woke up to a foot of snow on the ground and it was still snowing and, worse, blowing in a hard wind. We suited up and headed out to shovel. Our neighbors, known as "The Guys", saw us struggling and brought over their new snowblower.

The 3-hour job was thus slashed to 45 minutes. We could barely see each other for the snow - it was rapidly turning into a white-out.

Then we all went up and down the block making sure all the steps and sidewalks were clear.

One of the guys has a beard and it was frozen into icicles. Eventually we had to raise the flag and head in.

So it is officially a weekend of snow days at our house. There's all-day jammies, hot chocolate, a stack of DVD's, and a pile of firewood raring to go. The sun is threatening to shine so we may just bundle back up later and go sledding.

I only wish it could last longer.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 07:19 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 That sounds (& looks) simply AMAZING. My Kid will be soooo jealous...

Posted by: kalisah at January 23, 2005 04:32 PM (HRiMC)

2 Cute photos of Bear

Posted by: Eyes for Lies at January 24, 2005 05:56 AM (QhI+Z)

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Bear thinks snow is a treat. He loves helping CD shovel and building snowmen and digging snow tunnels. He loves his snow boots and his new gloves and throwing snowballs.

Picture by Elizabeth: Snowy night on our lane, 01/2005

Bear had a busy day yesterday, what with school and karate class and then open classroom night back at his school. By the time we all got home with a bag of Panda Express take-out at 7:30PM, we were all beat.

What I meant to say, was that CD and I were beat, and grumpy. Bear was still up, up, up. "It's SNOWING!" he announced as we pulled into the driveway. But we were spoilsports and told him to come inside. Eat first, shovel later.

After dinner, I opted to head to bed. Bear followed me with an armful of books. He informed me he was going to read me to sleep.

He told me the stories in 4 books. Reciting words by heart, making things up when he couldn't remember the words. He patted my sleepy head in between books, and took the time to stop and show me the pictures before he turned the pages.

When he was done, he made sure I was tucked in and kissed my head.

That's the kind of kid my kid is.

The day he learned about the Tsunami victims, we began remembering them in the prayers we say before we eat. That night, we were talking about what we could do to help.

Bear decided we should give the money from our change jar. When it was explained to him that this would mean no treats for a while - like gumballs and movie rentals, he looked straight at me and said "That's OK, we have a house."

I've been scared to death since talking with his teacher that something might actually be wrong with Bear. That we have somehow hurt his spirit or his emotional health.

My Bear, who pays such close atention in karate class, who loves the snow, who reads me stories, and who wants to give his gumball money to the Tsunami victims. I thought and prayed a lot about my little 4-year old miracle with the chubby cheeks and glossy red hair, who asks if he can help about 100 times a day and who's imperious at times, and impatient, and yes - even hyper.

Yes, I've spent the last couple of days agonizing about it. Talking with my friend the social worker. Observing him, looking for wounds in his soul or alarms in his behavior. And by 5AM this morning, in the pink glow of the snowy sky, I made a decision.

We're going to be OK.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 09:02 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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His lead teacher spoke to me at length. Like 45 minutes.

It seems that while Bear is sweet, funny, gregarious, bright, active, and curious.... since the holiday break he's also been a little - hyper.

She said that most kids come back from holidays and long weekends this way. Unable to settle down or ignoring her instructions. That even a time-out only brings them in line for about 5 minutes.

But Bear hasn't "settled down" even though the rest of the class has. That she has to get right in his face and demand his attention several times a morning. That he is using all the "works" (Montessori learning materials) as weapons (ka-pow ka-pow) against the rules. She laughed a little and said that Bear is not the only one - but is something of a ringleader.

She's been his teacher for 2 years, and really likes Bear. So I knew this was hard for her.

She asked if there was something going on at home.

All I could think was - CD and I have finally patched together a good peace, a strong path forward and faith that we're on the right path...

And now? Now? Now my sweet Bear is (finally?) acting out.

*sigh*

Post Script: Bear doesn't have ADD or ADHD or other disorders. We're pretty sure this is acting out. When he wants to, he has amazing concentration and reasoning skills and can control his behavior.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 04:40 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 I am sure you are right between all the emotions in the house, Bear is finally letting it all out. If things are more peaceful and content, he is probably over-joyed and zealous with tons of energy. Normal, if you ask me

Posted by: Eyes for Lies at January 19, 2005 05:09 AM (QhI+Z)

2 Bear's just on a different schedule, is all! (take this with a grain o' salt, please, since I'm not there and don't really know y'all): It's possible that Bear got 'used to' the tension in your home, and now that you have some kind of peace (plus the holidays) he's not sure how he "fits in" anymore. Does that make sense? In our foster kids, the first thing they do when they come to our house is act nice. Then, when they realize they are staying a while, they try to re-create the environment they had. If their parents fought a lot, they tried to get us to fight. If they were always getting in time out, they did things to get a time out. It's more comfortable for them. Change is tough, even change for the BETTER. Because you aren't sure what's going to happen next. A montessori is probably the best place for him to act out, IMO. This should pass relatively soon. (still got that grain of salt? good. I'm not trying to be preachy or anything, just sharing) good luck! And I hope you don't get the Bird again anytime soon...

Posted by: ben at January 19, 2005 05:19 AM (cMBPb)

3 Or maybe he's just a boy child and relishing his Leader of the Pack status? That's the wonder (?) of children. . .they never act (or act OUT) the way you think they will. I have absolutely no doubt that you will handle this (as everything) with grace and aplomb. But if you need a shoulder, I have two boy children (who don't do what I expect, ever) of my own (14 & 17).

Posted by: Margi at January 19, 2005 06:14 AM (zalxZ)

4 Cool. Sounds like it ain't the end of the world, right? Margi's comment, as always, seem right on point to me.

Posted by: RP at January 19, 2005 08:40 AM (LlPKh)

5 Completely udnerstandable too. That's God's sense of humor for you.

Posted by: Jazzy at January 19, 2005 10:29 AM (Zk9pu)

6 It could easily be because you and CD are patching things up. Kids will often shell up when things are bad at home. They don't want to make trouble as they think doing so will make things worse. When the pressure is released sheer exuberance and excitement naturally follow. I think he might be acting up, not out, simply because he's feeling comfortable and happy again.

Posted by: Jim at January 20, 2005 01:03 AM (tyQ8y)

7 On a positive note, at least you know he's a leader and not a follower.

Posted by: Terri at January 20, 2005 08:32 AM (LRR15)

8 OR... he might just be testing limits, as is age appropriate. That's not to say that he isn't affected by what has been going on at home, but as the child of two intelligent and dare I say rebellious parents, he's bound to want to challenge some of the rules (which IMO is a good thing, and while frustrating for the teacher, is a way to open a dialog to explore WHY we follow certain rules, and WHAT relationship our behavior has on those around us.) Did I mention that my son is 'hyper' too, and his pediatrician just smiled and handed me a copy of "The Spirited Child" and advised me that it's a boy thing, this cheerful rebellion? Yeah. What I'm trying to say here is: he's normal.

Posted by: Jenny at January 21, 2005 08:43 AM (fcvxR)

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I just have to say this - Rainbow Feather is fine. He's home and he's happy.

And when I said I hate birds - I meant the ones in cages. I have a feeder right outside my office window. I get a kick from the rare Cardinal sighting, the afternoon coos from the loon in Autumn. M'kay?

Of course, yes, I do also like eating birds. With a nice Chianti. But that's another show all together.

So this morning, I put my game shirt back on and showed up for work ready to take the plate. By the time I had to leave and go pick up Bear from his morning Montessori program, I was feeling pretty empowered, I tell you what.

Hopping to keep warm at the school entrance, waiting for my son, his teacher caught my eye and waved me closer to her. And then she uttered those words that deflated my whole mood. The Worst 4 Words in the English language:

We've got to talk.

I must have given her quite the look. Because she added; It's nothing too bad. I'll call you this afternoon.

Ugh.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 06:33 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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We had a 3-day weekend because of the Martin Luther King Holiday. Since we have clearly pissed off someone at Bear's Montessori school, we got to share this weekend with a garrulous bird named Rainbow Feathers.

I am not a bird person. Rainbow Feathers somehow knew this and squawked at me. A lot. All weekend.

3 in the morning, getting myself a glass of water. SQUAWK! Practically dropped of a heart attack right there in the kitchen.

Filling his food tray, hopped over near me and tried to BITE me! When I told him to behave? He SQUAWKED up a storm. And let me tell you, I don't speak bird but I am pretty sure he was saying some pretty nasty things.

I got my own back. I made homemade chicken salad, and ate it right there - in full view of the bird. Heh. Take that. Oh, yeah. You be afraid, you twinkie-sized waste of feathers.

While I was ate it, I kept going with the pot and turned the bones and remaining chicken into homemade stock. The house smelled like chicken soup for hours.

Then the bird looked... I dunno. Don't laugh at me. But, sad. I started feeling pretty bad for being so petty. So I found the bird a treat - some peanut stuff he was supposed to like.

The bird rewarded me by sticking his ass up against the side of the cage and trying to poop on the floor.

How is it that this bird can share a classroom with 20 bright, curious preschoolers and 2 of the nicest teachers you'll ever meet for 3 hours every day and be mean and calculating? Explain that to me.

Rainbow Feathers did not come with instructions. They sent this bird home with us without instructions. All there was in his little overnight bag was his cover and some food.

This was all the help they gave dumbass people like us - who, I kid you not, could not figure out what kind of bird this is. Searched the whole freaking Internet. Looked at more bird pictures than I EVER want to see in a lifetime.

Big birds. Little birds. Birds with funny beaks. Greenish yellow birds. Yellow greenish birds. Birds that sing, whistle, and tweet.

I hate birds.

Couldn't look up instructions if you can't figure out what kind of bird you got.

Which prompted CD to comment that this was probably Rainbow Feathers the 16th. There's a pet store somewhere that keeps Rainbow Feathers clones on hand for that regular Sunday night occurance - the parent running in with a dead bird saying "You got something that looks just like this?"

Otherwise, these 3 days have gone by so fast. For those keeping score - I got 60% of my to-do list done, including a plan of attack for saving my program.

And we also had a lot of fun - cooking, coloring, playing Scrabble (Bear stole all the "B's" because they were his), and enjoying time in the warmth of our family room in front of the fire.

But the best part. And I mean, the very best part. That will be tomorrow morning.

When we take Rainbow Feathers BACK.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 02:10 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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SO Bear has decided he doesn't need naps any more.

Except, he does. Which is how we ended up at the grocery store this evening with a wired up 4-year-old bouncing in the cart in the exact manner it says not to do. Right there, in the pictograms.

We barely made it to the check-out lane with our sanity intact.

Note: Every Friday we get an "allowance". We take out the money we will need for the week: Babysitter, Groceries, Take-Out, Gas for the car, like that. When the cash is gone, it better be next Friday.

So CD asks me, casually, as they are ringing up the magilla-billion items from our cart, grabbed in haste while keeping our overtired son from committing 4 kinds of federal mayhem. He asks me, as we read on the rags facing us that Jen and Brad are Together! Breaking Up!, How much money do we have for groceries.

And I freeze.

I have no flipping clue.

And as I start to pull out my wallet to see how much money we have, and I look over and realize that the cashier in the next lane is the boy next door. Literally, our neighbor's son. Who has been forced by his mother to babysit for us on occasion and I think that's why he growls and runs when he sees us.

And in my head, I picture it: I don't have enough money, CD's left the cash card at home, we're torn between charging groceries on the credit card or having the manager come over and approve a void. The line behind us grows restless. And there, the boy from next door, watching us.

All this. Because I have a mind that Stephen King would envy, y'all.

Just an average day at the grocery store... but NO, now they are "THE NEIGHBORHOOD OUTCASTS".

The total came to $120. I had that and money to spare. Of course I did, silly. We do this every week.

Gotta dial back on the Tylenol or something.

I made sure we waved to the neighbor boy as we were leaving. Us, lovely family. Who had PLENTY of money. And who's son is not the one yelling C0ck-c0ck-c0ck-c0ck-a-DOODIE! as we head for the exit.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 02:51 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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So, being the people we are - we did the math. How much we can afford to pay for a car without having to do the Bad Thing.

You know, the Bad Thing. Incure a Car Payment.

So we set ourselves a budget. Looked at the cost of keeping the Piece of Sh*t car on the road. Talked about priorities. And then, because he had to take the morning off, CD hit the web. Edmunds. Carmax. Like that.

10 minutes later, he instant messages me.

With a link to a used Jag.

In our price range.

Ha! I scoffed (Scoffed!). What about...? I shouted to him, 3 rooms away. Repairs. Upkeep. Insurance!

He ambles to my office, leans against my desk.

Honey, face it. It's in our budget.

We can't have a Jag in Pleasantville, I demur.

He raises an eyebrow. (Damn, I wish I could do that.)

We'll get a Honda, I suggest. Safe. Reliable. Gas efficient, I remind my husband, the Environmentalist. Friendly to the environment. If only there was a used hybrid in our price range....

He shrugs. Look, the Jag is in our price range. It's a second car, you've always wanted one, and we can afford it.

I sit, stunned. I sit, charmed. A puddle of charmed. He winks at me. I smile. It occurs to me, that this is the first time in the longest time that he has pushed one of my fantasies, one of my never-will-happen dreams. The silly things. The things that you mention, looking in the window without ever really thinking they will come true.

It feels warm and good.

I wink back.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 04:57 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 Oh, how very sweet! Charmed, winked at, smiling... this is all good.

Posted by: Kimberly at January 04, 2005 09:10 PM (Ba9x7)

2 ooooh! A Jag! You lucky, lucky girl!

Posted by: kalisah at January 05, 2005 02:58 AM (B6gHW)

3 Happy De-Lurking Day! A Jaguar sounds lovely - especially if you say it with that accent they use in their commercials. It's nice to see a little spark in your marriage. Hope he keeps it up! PS - Why not go for a car payment with interest rates so low!?

Posted by: Amanda at January 05, 2005 06:13 AM (4totH)

4 Happy De-Lurking Day from me, too. Not that I'm a lurker here (obviously!), but I'm trying to form a new commenting habit, and it never hurts to practice. Are you gonna get the Jag???

Posted by: Kimberly at January 05, 2005 08:59 AM (Vc80e)

5 I hope you get it -- if it would make you happy! I dream of fancy cars and then always buy the Honda! That's all I've ever owned I'm too practical and in the same vein hate car loans too

Posted by: Eyes for Lies at January 05, 2005 09:38 AM (QhI+Z)

6 From a Geo to a Jag? Sounds like a Country song to me . . . And you know what I say, Life is Short . . .

Posted by: Philip at January 05, 2005 09:44 AM (zsoKg)

7 A Jag? A Jag! Woohoo!

Posted by: Grace at January 05, 2005 09:55 AM (UdgWp)

8 You deserve it! I'm glad you're glad and that he's definitely trying (and succeeding) to make you glad!

Posted by: Monica C. at January 05, 2005 10:39 AM (8Ff77)

9 I do love me a jag too. I had one for a while. Then my relationship with the jag ended. The jag got to keep the ex husband. Enjoy your new car!

Posted by: bella at January 05, 2005 02:12 PM (SSqd2)

10 Jags are lovely to look at and I wish you all the best with driving it. May I ask, have you looked at a BMW? Drives like a dream and great in the snow (the X drive ones). I heart BMW.

Posted by: RP at January 06, 2005 06:55 AM (LlPKh)

11 The other upside to owning a Jag? We all get to hate you! Hey, I didn't say it was YOUR upside...

Posted by: The Zero Boss at January 07, 2005 07:21 AM (q9AXC)

12 Darn, woman! Your writing always gives me goosebumps. Even when it's my second time reading it. All through high school, my dream car was a Jaguar. I hope it all works out!

Posted by: Kris at January 08, 2005 02:44 AM (jI0jR)

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