Walk across the lawn in tight designer jeans. Young butt wiggling, thin hips swaying. Smiling with my eyes, and no idea how much trouble my lips could get me in.

It's dangerous to be 15.

He was my first boyfriend. Curly hair and long hands. Luckily for me, he'd been brung up right. All those hours, alone in his house - his bedroom - and he never let it get very far.

Though, oh, he could kiss.

It was just that his honor roll meant just as much.

I'd try to steal a few, but Guy would wave me back to my books. Tell me to finish my chapter and let him finish his.

I'd steal his highlighter. He'd laugh, and indulge me. I was a wild girlfriend, needy and unsure. He was grounded, and kind.

You look back and realize that there were those intense, lovely moments.

First boyfriends that win stuffed animals at the fair. Hold hands for hours and run out for ice cream on warm autumn nights.

Put away the breaking up. The heartache and the sad songs on the radio.

Remember the carnations bought at high school fundraisers, borrowing his sweater, and counting stars.

"Mommy," Bear asked me last night, stuffy with last of a cold and sick of television and Vick's Vaporub.

"Yeah, Bear?"

"Daddy was your first boyfriend, right?"

"No, but he was my boyfriend, first."

He looks at me as though I am teasing him. Freckles scrunched in thought.

"Was he nice?"

"Who?"

"Your first boyfriend."

"Very nice."

"But not as nice as Daddy," he informs me firmly.

"Well, Bear, he was only 16 or 17 years old."

"Oh," my son nods. "That's REALLY old."

"Well, not a good age to get married," I tell him. "But it was fun."

"Ew," he says.

Our eyes meet, blue to green. We will agree to disagree.

Soon enough, he will know.

Soon enough, it will be gone.

And soon enough, it will be his memories on a warm autumn evening. Old songs on the radio. And a smile in his eyes, that no one else will understand.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 07:35 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 361 words, total size 2 kb.

1 that was lovely. thankyou for sharing such an intimate moment. I'm going to sneak in and look at my sleeping 3 year old, you've made me feel all weepy!

Posted by: dodo at October 30, 2006 08:17 AM (/BaRD)

2 Just the other night at the dinner table my refusal to ride on the back of Mr. Motorcycles Harley was the topic of conversation. The conversation lead to a question along the lines if his was the only bike I had turned down....imagine the surprise of the children when a former boyfriends name was mentioned and their father knew all about him. It was classic & something I'll never forget.

Posted by: cursingmama at October 30, 2006 09:37 AM (PoQfr)

3 Lovely post. You have such style and flair in your writing! Have you ever submitted to a publisher before? If no, then what are you waiting for woman?!!

Posted by: Eyes at November 01, 2006 02:44 AM (L67iN)

4 You really nailed it.

Posted by: madrigalia at November 01, 2006 07:35 AM (R2sJa)

5 This post put a smile on my face. And brought back some of my own memories. And then of course, there's little Bear. With so much to look forward to, so much living to do. : )

Posted by: laura at November 02, 2006 03:07 AM (Tqoj6)

6 Is it something in the air? Seems like everyone's thinking of old boyfriends lately. (except, you know, MY old girlfriends, heh) Thanks for getting in touch,

Posted by: ben at November 02, 2006 05:39 AM (Z8hXP)

7 ok, that was the best entry ever. jen

Posted by: Jen_Jakesmom at November 02, 2006 06:34 AM (2/T1v)

8 Elizabeth, That was beautiful! I haven't been here in a while, and I just had a momment so thought I'd drop by... You remind me why I love reading your blog. Your have such a vivid way with words. You always leave me with images flying through my head, full of emotion, good, bad and all inbetween. Thank You again for a great post!

Posted by: Amanda at November 03, 2006 10:46 AM (bnJkJ)

9 eutkzco thueueio

Posted by: Eliza at November 07, 2006 06:44 AM (Z2p8j)

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