Dagnabbit, Grace beat me to it. But I love her too dang much to feel cheated.

This obituary actually ran in Sunday's Trib (empahsis mine):

Theodore Roosevelt Heller

Theodore Roosevelt Heller, 88, loving father of Charles (Joann) Heller; dear brother of the late Sonya (the late Jack) Steinberg. Ted was discharged from the U.S. Army during WWII due to service related injuries, and then forced his way back into the Illinois National Guard insisting no one tells him when to serve his country. Graveside services Tuesday 11 a.m. at Waldheim Jewish Cemetery (Ziditshover section). In lieu of flowers, please send acerbic letters to Republicans.
Published in the Chicago Tribune on 10/10/2005.

When I die, I want an obituary like Mr. Heller's, you know? I'm so crushing on him. How could so few lines seem to capture so much life and spirit in someone who's gone?

There goes Elizabeth, loving mom to Bear, an amazing guy. She prayed globally, acted locally, dressed disasterously, cooked passably, served God however she found Her, and to the shame of her mother died in need of both a haircut and a manicure. In lieu of flowers, please drop pennies in fountains - to feed your dreams, as well those of the folks around you who need some spare change to get by.

How do you want to be remembered?

Posted by: Elizabeth at 04:29 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 235 words, total size 2 kb.

1 I love your obit.

Posted by: sparkle at October 13, 2005 05:22 AM (aYaUi)

2 I hope you're saving that somewhere...its great!

Posted by: cursingmama at October 13, 2005 06:34 AM (PoQfr)

3 that's beautiful.

Posted by: alice at October 13, 2005 02:01 PM (y0MfI)

4 Great words. I just want to be remembered with much wailing, moaning, weeping and gnashing of teeth. I want people to leave work, school, and overseas cruises to fly/drive/sail/snowboard their way to my funeral. I want it to be big. Real big. And I want so many flowers that everyone's sneezing.

Posted by: Lucinda at October 13, 2005 02:55 PM (OPvIN)

5 Two great obits. Yours I would print it out and file it away for you, but by the time its needed, the ink will have long since faded from the paper. Me, I want a rare magical flower to grow out of my grave. And, in about 1000 years or so, for an archeologist to find my skull and wonder who I was. Maybe I could be buried with a couple of pieces modern kitch—like a bobble head or something—so they can muse over what type of powerful religious talisman they must have been. On a completly different note...I like the circles. There is something celebratory about the circles.

Posted by: laura at October 13, 2005 04:14 PM (FzMzF)

6 I like the circles...but I'm not sure about the copy that is flying all over the place.

Posted by: jill at October 14, 2005 03:32 AM (mPnaW)

7 Jill - Hee. Yes, someone MUST stop me. I am futzng wayyyyy too much. Although flying? Really? The copy seemed much more, I dunno, meandering to me.... E

Posted by: Elizabeth at October 14, 2005 03:48 AM (Xb+jS)

8 Seriously? Cremate the body, gather everyone I love and who loved me over two-hundred dollar bottles of fine single malt scotch, play "In My Life" by The Beatles, and laugh. Talk about the stupid things I did and laugh. And then chuck the ashes and GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. I don't even want an obituary. Everyone who really loves me will know, anyway. I won't be around to but them via e-mail or IM. ;o)

Posted by: Margi at October 18, 2005 07:21 PM (nwEQH)

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OK, I get it. The dessert is a metaphor, right? Or an allegory? And the river that flowed, and now is dead - that's what? A lost love? Some kind of mushroom haze? Fine, fine.

But why not, in the name of all that is GOOD and HOLY, name the frigging horse?!

Posted by: Elizabeth at 01:29 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 84 words, total size 1 kb.

1 roflmao!!!

Posted by: Alexia at October 06, 2005 01:32 PM (YZRkN)

2 Fred. I name him Fred. He who was nameless, is now named Fred. Poor horsey, he ought to have a name.

Posted by: laura at October 06, 2005 03:47 PM (LMDzv)

3 I have always wondered the same thing! At least call him "anon" or something.

Posted by: Cheryl at October 06, 2005 04:51 PM (xz8OC)

4 I told you Never name anything you might have to eat!

Posted by: CD at October 07, 2005 05:02 AM (3AgfD)

5 gpvkzxtysdvntggutymctzzsronqalnqfhfxe
link http://mwdqltv.zvhaqwz.com

Posted by: jpwqct at October 15, 2005 12:57 AM (qQS/K)

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