If life were General Hospital, CD and I would have broken up by now. Our son would have been rapidly aged and be dating his cousin. I would have re-married a mob boss and discovered he was behind my ex-lover's unsolved murder. And CD would have discovered eight children by nine former girlfriends.
But in real life, things are about the same.
I mean, yes. About a week or so ago, we had a bit of unpleasantness. But I haven't been able to blog about it because I promised CD not to share certain stuff anymore. (Speculum warmers? Yes. Fights over the dishes? No.)
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I'm anxiously awaiting a response to this post.
Mine is not work-related, it's more personal. If you find that magical location, please hook a sistah up, willya?
xoxo
Posted by: Margi at February 01, 2005 04:50 PM (zalxZ)
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I find the best way is to keep the blog a secret. If he knew that I wrote about our moments together for the world wide web to view, I believe that would be the end of any "moments" between us at all.
He has a blog though and has mastered this truth and ethics line. He simply blogs only about daily happenings in his life. NO emotions are on his blog whatsoever. I'm amazed and appalled all at once.
But then again, men tend to compartmentalize more than women.
Posted by: suzanne at February 01, 2005 05:02 PM (xDfQA)
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The line is different for each person. Generally my personal postings are more about me than anybody else (well, the kids figure prominently too but I own them so it doesn't matter what I say there). If I ever post anything unflattering about somebody (except Michael Moore) it has to meet two criteria: 1) It's always something that I'd say to their face; 2) I have already said it to their face.
Posted by: Jim at February 01, 2005 10:22 PM (MDLz3)
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I'm of the belief that place exists only in our hearts. Even then, though, it's a moving target.
You just know it when you see it.
Like love.
Or porn.
Posted by: Jennifer at February 02, 2005 02:28 AM (jl9h0)
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It's a hard balance. No doubt...
Posted by: Eyes for Lies at February 02, 2005 04:27 AM (QhI+Z)
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I've realized it's not possible to keep my blog a secret (I am SO easily Googled), so I don't write anything I wouldn't want DH to read about. Which means I don't write about him. Which means I don't get to be honest about a lot of things. So pretty much I'm no help here.
/
Your soap opera paragraph gave me a laugh, though. ;o)
Jen
Posted by: Jen_Jake'smom at February 02, 2005 05:43 AM (2/T1v)
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Um, yeah, I got nothin'. Bu if you figure it out, let me know.
Posted by: Stacy at February 02, 2005 06:08 AM (NF7cp)
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LSD.
I'm with Jen. I don't post anything I don't want Big Daddy to read (and he's an extremely private person...he doesn't even want me to discuss our private life w/ my best friend.)
That said, I save the really personal stuff for my best friend.
Posted by: kalisah at February 02, 2005 06:50 AM (B6gHW)
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Nope. My husband is my number one blog stalker.
Posted by: amanda at February 02, 2005 09:42 AM (4totH)
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Hi Ho!!
Y'all have already discussed what ever this latest upset was, right?? So, what is the big deal about writing something to the effect "CD and I had a difference of opinion the other day. My point of view was this that and the other." Don't express what he said; only express what you think, feel. Emphasis is on the "you of whatever you are writing" not on the "us of it."
Given what I have just written, I still wonder if CD is not doing a control/manipulation thing here. Color me paranoid if this is out of line.
You can chat about the stitching up process you are undergoing. Blogging freely about your hurt, pain, joy and love is to me clearly within these boundaries. I learned a long time ago that the most personal is the most general and the most general is the most personal. Write on and on and on without any editorial withholds!! I know you can do it.
Posted by: Azalea at February 02, 2005 09:44 AM (hRxUm)
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This has caused such an uproar in our house. If I only write about my daughter and me, he's pissed because he's not included. But if I write about us, he's pissed because he doesn't think I should write about HIS personal life. And then if we're fighting, he'll leave comments making it KNOWN to any readers that we're fighting, which is what I was trying to avoid by not mentioning him. Ugh. Where's the line? Let me know if you find it.
Posted by: Terri at February 02, 2005 10:27 AM (LRR15)
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There are indeed things that I so desperately want to discuss but don't. Won't. Can, but know it will cause a huge argument here, and arguments are to be avoided like the plague. My balance? I can talk about how mental I am, but not things that may make me more mental. It's not like I have been told to not write about things, it's more like writing about some of them would just raise the problems all over again.
And sometimes I sit there and word and re-word and edit all over again and then just cut sections of it, since I don't know how to get them out without causing problems.
Should you open a seperate blog? Dunno'. I can't, it would wreck the trust I have with my boy. Should I just not write about it? Guess so, only some things just eat me. Should I just email people? Could do, only it goes back to the same problem-how do I phrase things without my clumsy phrasings that seem to make things worse?
Dude. I didn't help at all.
Posted by: Helen at February 02, 2005 08:57 PM (uFX1z)
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I was gonna say "good luck with that" which of course is about as un-helpful as it can be. I think everyone else has given great advice.
How can you let it out without letting It out? Can you tell parables, perhaps? I don't know.
I write most of what comes to mind on my blog, but I'm not as easily googled as some...
Posted by: ben at February 03, 2005 04:19 AM (cMBPb)
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My husband doesn't even read my blog, unless he's doing it covertly. I should post a scathing diatribe about all of his faults, and see if he mentions it. But I think he's just not interested. I don't think he even read the entry that won Blogging for Books (the jerk!). ;-)
I can see CD's point, and you're doing the right thing by respecting his wishes. But sometimes your feeling are your own, and you have a right to express them. Good luck finding the balance, there!
Posted by: Kris at February 04, 2005 03:29 AM (7Etsv)
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There's so much that I leave unsaid knowing that my family read my blog and I realize that many of my posts turn out to be very vanilla for lack of sharing. Luckily I belong to a close knit community around the netwaves and I can usually find a sympathetic ear and a shoulder or two. I also have a group of family members and friends who are just an email away...kind of modeled after the YaYa's. Thirdly, I have a little hole in the wall journal that is not for public consumption. No one reads it but me. Sometimes it just helps to write about it.
Posted by: Soccamom at February 07, 2005 12:28 PM (padu4)
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I maintain a journal and a blog separately. The problem with this is that my "private" posts are often more interesting than my "public" ones, but at least no one's feelings are hurt. I get to record my life the way I want to in one forum, and present a slightly less specific version in a wider environment.
I also don't post when I'm livid. Waiting a day usually gives me enough time to simmer down and be fair.
Just considering the problems is a step in the right direction, I think.
Posted by: madrigalia at February 15, 2005 04:28 PM (1DCPB)
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