I was on the phone this morning with about a dozen different engineers. A server that was supposed to have a 75gig drive only had a 32gig drive and you wouldn't think that was a big deal - but when you only have a guy for one day to load the software and the software needs a 75gig drive, well... it becomes a big deal.

At one point, I hijacked someone else's conference call. My hat in hand, begging for a 75gig drive.

After I made my desperate plea there was a pause. Then I heard a vaguely familiar voice say.... "If it isn't Professor Peabody and her Wayback machine!"

And I had to laugh.

It was a guy I had worked with in 1998, when I was a newbie at Mega and still wearing thrift store (I mean Vintage! Bohemian!) clothes and learning what the heck "Deliverable" and "Return on Investment" meant.

It was a guy who'd screwed me over.

Who had stubbornly refused to meet the deadlines I'd set because back then, I wasn't senior enough for him to notice. And he was new to Mega, too. Hired away from a competitor and eager to show how important he was.

And today we ended up getting on our phones and chatting like it was .... well, a whole new world. After all, we knew each other when.

We saw each other at the begining of our careers with Mega. We had both attended the same long dinners at Morton's, crowded into one of the private dining rooms with 20 others. The rounds and rounds of drinks at the local pub after pulling 20 hour days. The "All Hands" conferences at the local hotel ballroom - a division president barking inspirational words into a corded microphone as he paced the parquet floor.

We both worked our way up, in a corporation famous for rarely promoting. From Lead to Senior Lead. To Partner. To Management. To Senior Management. Hovering in front of the executive washroom, scrambling to take on more responsiblity.

We left behind the core skills that got us in the door for PowerPoint presentations and budget challenges.

And now we're old-tiimers. You know, from way back when.

He refuted me when I told him I was going, disbelief thick in his voice. It took me a few minutes to convince him.

It's a strange thing, inside Mega we are always fighting our own co-workers for the fewer and fewer spots up the food chain. Like a athletes that travel together to competitions.

After the race is run, we all file back onto the same bus. We compliment and commiserate. High-5's as we shimmy down the narrow aisle to an empty seat. Internally plotting to beat each other next time.

"You're coming back," he announced to me smugly. "You're at the top of your game. You won't walk away from that."

And I told him that no one knew the future. If they did, Lotto would go out of business.

And he sighed, and changed the subject. Started reminiscing, and we lost a good half hour that way.

We used to battle and now that is what links us. We were witnesses to a slice of each other's lives, which is a powerful bond.

And I truly believe that when he said he was sorry to see me go... he meant it.

I know I did.

(And we got that 75gig drive from him. But don't ask how. Or from where. Or anything. In fact, we never had this conversation.)

(oh, and p.p.s. - the comments are working again. Wouldn't you like to be my neighbor? Or, at least tell me that the gang's all together again and no hard feelings for me blowing up the website? I'm blatantly begging here...)

Posted by: Elizabeth at 02:14 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 656 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Well, this gang's here anyway and I'm sure I'm far from the only one anxiously waiting for you to resolve your technical issues. Glad you're back. Now I can do some catch-up reading. Where's that popcorn again?

Posted by: Lucinda at January 26, 2006 03:12 PM (OPvIN)

2 I don't know if the gang is all here or not, but this lurker is

Posted by: k at January 26, 2006 03:24 PM (Gv2mF)

3 I think your brave to change your life in midstream. And your doing awesome. Your right, we can't see the future, but if we don't like the present, it's time to change that. Good for you. I want to be your neighbor.

Posted by: Melissa at January 26, 2006 03:50 PM (RcXdn)

4 You're even showing up on Newsgator again! BTW the site doesn't resemble goose poop at all.

Posted by: cursingmama at January 26, 2006 04:10 PM (uW9eJ)

5 Yeah..old school...1998...It's amazing what can change in less than 10 years, eh?

Posted by: Grace at January 26, 2006 05:42 PM (L058b)

6 Yay! You're back. I actually really like the new design (no goose poop here.) I've never managed to stay at one company long enough to have wayback machine conversations, when the bureaucratic silliness (you know, BS) gets too deep, I always seem to find myself changing jobs, so good for you for sticking and moving up and then having the courage to make a dramatic change like you are now.

Posted by: beth at January 27, 2006 12:32 AM (BuBkx)

7 No time for long comment. Still love you!

Posted by: RP at January 27, 2006 02:15 AM (LlPKh)

8 I'm a frequent reader and infrequent commenter who is very glad you're back. I'm quitting my IT job, too. This is the end of week 7 for me. My countdown is secret - I can't give more than 2 weeks or they'll haul me out. I'm gonna be an art teacher...who knew? The real reason I'm commenting? I kid you not. I am absolutely telling the truth. I'm honest when I say that I was listening to THAT VERY CHICAGO SONG as I got out of my car at work this morning. I've been in a very 70s-Chicago mood of late and iTunes is my friend. "...but I've got my job to do and I do it well."

Posted by: bev at January 27, 2006 02:21 AM (Tk9Rx)

9 Bev SO wins the "Obscure reference to a Chicago tune" award - this was the song that I would listent to over and over when I went back on the road after Bear was born. It still makes me tear up... Chicago › Wishing You Were Here Sleepless hours and dreamless nights and far aways Ooo ooo ooo, wishing you were here Heaven knows and lord it shows when I’m away Ooo ooo ooo, wishing you were here Same old show in a different town on another time Ooo ooo ooo, wishing you were here Even though you’re far away, you’re on my mind Ooo ooo ooo, wishing you were here And I’d like to change my life, and you know I would Just to be with you tonight, baby, if I could But I’ve got my job to do, and I do it well, So I guess that’s how it is. Ooo ooo ooo, wishing you were here On the road it’s a heavy load, but I’ll get by Ooo ooo ooo, wishing you were here Pay the price, make a sacrifice, and still I’ll try Ooo ooo ooo, wishing you were here

Posted by: Elizabeth at January 27, 2006 02:43 AM (ceeh7)

10 I have just found your site around Christmas. I love, your style of writing. Checked out your site 2x a day to see if it was up and running! It hurts my heart though, that you are going through so much right now. Big hugs and wishes that things start to look up for you real soon. -ashleigh

Posted by: ashleigh at January 27, 2006 02:44 AM (YBsSh)

11 It gets worse in terms of synchronicity. Again, I'm telling the absolute truth when I say that in my very cubicle are TWO 72Gb hard drives for our data server. If only I'd known you needed one! Well, they're for an HP Proliant 380, so they might not have done you any good... (Got to install those before I go.)

Posted by: bev at January 27, 2006 02:51 AM (Tk9Rx)

12 Bev, good thing I didn't know that yesterday - I would have shown up with a duffle bag!!

Posted by: Elizabeth at January 27, 2006 02:56 AM (ceeh7)

13 Glad to see you back!

Posted by: jm at January 27, 2006 03:06 AM (Ianl7)

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(Note: I never meant for this to be synchronistic to Helen's post today and wrote this completely unaware that she tackled similar themes - and much better than I. I recommend it!)

This morning we met with the head of Bear's Montessori school as well as the learning specialist who has been working with him.

Normally, when I approach these meetings, I fall apart. Because I am overweight.

People who have met me know this, I can't hide it. I am over 50 pounds overweight, and I have gained over half of those pounds since CD became Depressed. I can't even blame the pregnancy with Bear - although sitting on my fanny for 7 months atrophied every muscle in my body including my brain.

I was 20 pounds overweight when I married CD. I wore a size 14 wedding dress, off the rack. I was also, Oh Happy Day, bloated with stress and my period. (And you wonder why I don't post my wedding pictures. Heh.)

I can be 10 pounds overweight. I will wear a size 8/10/12 and carry those extra pounds in my stomach and my upper arms and a little waddle in my chin. But these can be addressed. After all, God gave us special underwear for the first and tailored shirts for the second and for the last, well, I had a waddle under my chin when I was in high school and weighed 105 pounds and wore a size 6. So that's a nip/tuck or suck it up situation.

I am built like a brick shithouse, as they used to say. I got boobs, too much. I got a pinched-in waist even now. And I got junk, and it's in my trunk, and I made peace with THAT a long time before J. LO thank you very much.

I have short curvy legs and short curvy arms and a dimple in my apple cheek. And the only way for me to look thin - like Bette Midler - is to be about 10 pounds underweight. That's when my hip bones jut out so much that I can't sleep on my stomach and my ribs stand out under a t-shirt.

I remember gaining the freshman 15 and having to buy a size 8 pair of jeans and sitting on the dressing room floor, sobbing so hard that the saleslady asked if there was someone she could call to help me.

I was 120 pounds, and disgusted with myself. In a frenzy of self-loathing I would pinch myself, hunting fat everywhere - at the sides of my breasts and under my arms and between my ribs.I would push on my thighs and cry when I saw how grotesque they looked. My mother would chide me to cut back on dessert and I would stomp away, terrified of my own digestive system and angry with her for saying it our loud.

I decided to do something I had never done before - diet. The summer after my sophmore year of college, I gave myself 500 calories a day and excersized at least an hour or two every morning and afternoon. Then I would bundle up in soft, draping clothes already sizes too big and despise my reflection in the mirror.

The battle became my life. To this day, I look back at pictures of me and realize I was beautiful in my skin and gasp when I remember how scared I was of getting fat.

But I still can't turn off the tape inside my head. The one that says other people are lovely and wonderful no matter their size - but for me, there is a different set of rules.

At 50 pounds overweight, in a pair of size 20 jeans, I hate my body. I look away when I get out of the shower. I hide from meeting new people.

But for my son, I will do anything. So I got up, took a shower, blew dry my hair, and put on clothes. I sat at the table with un-manicured hands and no make-up and dressed well and I got to business.

It was the first time in years that I didn't walk through the door feeling apologetic for how I looked.

Appearance was always so important in my family, in a New England sort of way. To be dressed nicely, but not fashionable. To be well groomed, but not 'done up'. To be naturally attractive and glowing with good health and boast a trim, active body.

I have realized over the years that I don't want to be attractive in a New England sort of way. I like some honey glints in my hair and my eyebrows waxed by someone who isn't me (I am terrorist with a pair of tweezers. What I have done to my left eyebrow - on numerous occasions- is a crime against women everywhere). At my natural weight, when I feel healthy, I wear a size 10. I have a lush body, with cream and pink skin, and my full lips were made for gloss.

And kissing.

But right now I am still 50 pounds away from that. And I have let that weight interfere with how I live.

Until today. Today I forgot about my looks, forgot to be self-conscious, forgot lose my self-esteem at the door, and just had the meeting. It wasn't until I got home and my friend was complimenting the cut of my jeans that I realized what had happened.

Last night, I looked inside and saw all the darkness that I am fighting. All the anger and resentment and stress that has built up in a swarm slamming inside my soul. And then, this morning, a visit from my former self. The one who used to walk talk at 5 foot 2 inches. I used to love being female, with a Marilyn Monroe body. I used to feel confident in my skin, and that meant I could focus on other things.

I am not sure how it happened, because it was a crappy kind of morning before the meeting. And the meeting itself actually wasn't all that productive. But then, I was sitting in my office sorting through my work mail and I realized that I had never had my panic attack this morning - the one I have before meeting someone new about my first impression as "a fat girl".

And then I remembered before. When this is how it used to be.

And I wonder, I mean, just a little bit... if maybe somehow I can become OK with this body even as I finally give myself the time and energy to get healthier. If maybe, in facing the darkness, there is a path to the joy of my former self.

Maybe.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 05:50 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
Post contains 1142 words, total size 6 kb.

1 Huzzah to you for not finding your inner critic this morning. I too, am panicky and ashamed when I have to meet new people, being 80 pounds overweight. I imagine that every waitress is thinking that I should be ordering hot water with lemon instead of actual food. I'd like a moment like you had today...good for you, CM.

Posted by: Anna at January 18, 2006 07:08 AM (LB2Dh)

2 It's amazing how much of our self esteem is tied up with that image we face each morning in the mirror. My body has gone through drastic changes since I was that 125lb college student who still though she was fat, when really I was a bit under a healthy weight for me. I've had three babies, nursed them all, have ended up around 35lbs overweight with boobs the size of well, just way too huge (and saggy). My husband loves my body, me, not so much. I stare in the mirror in my bathroom wondering how my husband could find me attractive. I stare in the mirror during yoga class thinking how disgusting I must look to all the other women in the class (at my all women's gym)--even though I'm there doing something about it. Sigh, it's hard to separate the outside from the inside.

Posted by: A.K. at January 18, 2006 08:24 AM (fSoFs)

3 I think the interesting thing about having a Career is that so much energy is dedicated to it that it often serves to distract us from thinking about out other "issues". Now that you are leaving Mega, you're having to face all of these issues, and it's understandably overwhelming. It's like when I quit smoking, I really wondered how I would ever *deal* with all the stresses of life ... and now, almost 5 years later, I am amazed that I have been able to, without my beloved Marlboro Lights, but I have, indeed, been able to. And you will too.

Posted by: Monica C. at January 18, 2006 09:09 AM (gkN3L)

4 Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 and soft. All the sex symbols of her time were "soft". None of this toned, zero body fat, tight muscle, no jiggle, skinny bony girls you see today. Marilyn Monroe is still worshiped as a Sex symbol. Auntie Marfa

Posted by: Auntie Marfa at January 18, 2006 09:10 AM (/qtT1)

5 Here's the funny thing, all of my life I have been overweight. I came out at 8 pounds and never looked back, and yet I can't relate to you and Helen on this. I've never had that kind of image problem. Maybe because I don't know anything else and it's a foregone conclusion that when people look at me they see a big girl. But ya' know, I always kinda hope they see a funny, smart girl, rather than a fat girl or a short girl or a brown haired girl. Anyway, the point is that it doesn't have to be that way, you can be the same sexy, confident woman at 175 that you were at 125, it's all about how the inside shows on the outside, and I hope you can carry a piece of how you felt today with you when next you feel anxious about how others percieve you physically. After all, it's YOUR body. Not anyone else's.

Posted by: caltechgirl at January 18, 2006 11:37 AM (/vgMZ)

6 O-M-G. THIS POST says exactly what I have been trying to explain to my husband for 10 years. My meeting someone panic attacks, my self doubt about my size - all of it. Thankyou thankyou thankyou! I am going too print this out and use it as a basis for him understanding some of my deepest darkest issues and as a stepping stone for a breakthrough myself!

Posted by: Flikka at January 18, 2006 02:19 PM (puvdD)

7 (((HUGS))) I think you WILL find that special place within yourself to be OK of however you look on the outside. It comes slowly if you are open to it...

Posted by: Angela Giles Klocke at January 19, 2006 01:44 AM (mdQBB)

8 Wow. I can so relate. You put it just beautifully. Congratulations for having a moment - even if it was only just for today (but here's hoping it continues tomorrow) - where you can be ok with yourself. Cause if that's you in those pictures - you're beautiful. No matter what the size. It's been a while since I've had a good moment like that - and I think maybe I'm a little more inspired to try harder to get there again after reading your thoughts. Thanks.

Posted by: beth at January 19, 2006 02:00 AM (BuBkx)

9 Girl, you have got an awful lot of stuff on the table right now. Lots of changes in your life with work, marriage stuff, parenting, etc. I would shelve this whole topic for a while and deal with it a little later when things are more stable around you. You can't pull every single issue in your life out at once and think you can survive it. This one is not pressing - it will wait until later. From where I sit, I am still concerned about the things you expressed in your last post. When I told a therapist once that when there was a deadline, my (depressed) husband would HAVE to do something (like CD needing to look for a better job as your transition approaches), she said "Not everyone is like you. Some people 'run to the roar' (i.e. attack things head-on), others simply freeze and become paralyzed." That has always stuck with me and reminded me that I can't expect everyone to react the way I do. CD isn't wired the way you are, and deals with pressure differently. Please be careful that he isn't internalizing all this stress which could actually provoke another depressive episode. Fair? Not one bit, but reality nonetheless. Is CD getting any ongoing help/therapy/support or is he on his own? People who struggle with depression often maintain some of the same mindset/tendencies even when they are not actually in the midst of the depression itself. Does he have coping skills in place to deal with some of the triggers? Don't fool yourself that your anger and resentment aren't evident to him. I hope that you two have a stronger sense of togetherness and teamwork than was evident in that post because you are going to need it to weather the challenges that lie ahead. If you aren't sure things are where they need to be, you can defer leaving Mega a little bit until you feel more prepared. Or not. I just fear that you are going to trade one set of stressors for another. And trust me, being a SAHM (while a worthy goal) is not instant nirvana. All you have to do is read some of the MANY blogs written by them to see that.

Posted by: Amy at January 19, 2006 06:28 AM (sJ+B/)

10 Wow. What a well done piece of writing! The black and white shot of you is stunning, you know. Absolutely gorgeous. Thank you for giving me something to think about today, which until now had been a day I vowed to consume nothing but tea.

Posted by: Ta at January 19, 2006 09:44 AM (M++hX)

11 Elizabeth - I'm sorry, I've been lurking around your blog for so long when it comes to commenting I get a bit tongue tied...but this I wanted to help with if I could. My husband has been receiving treatment for anxiety/depression for more than 9 years now. It effects everything in our lives and I think, though I hate to place blame, because I have to always be the strong one...the one that has to keep all the balls from dropping...my weight was an issue too. I'm 5'8" & have finally got back into a size 18 down from a 22 (only because I found out I have type II diabetes) but what I want to say is that I'm finally FINALLY ok with my body. This is me...I am beautiful, I am strong, I am comfortable. The world be damned. Love yourself Elizabeth just for who you are...from everything I've read here & from that black & white picture above...you are strong & beautiful too. In that love you will find a way to be healthier...mentally, emotionally, & physically. When your ok with yourself, you treat yourself better. Take it from the girl who made peace with her body & afterwards lost almost 40 pounds. I've got a ways to go still but honestly, I don't care.

Posted by: Nicole at January 19, 2006 11:21 AM (iInZX)

12 If you think you don't want to accept your body and you want some help to lose weight, Weight Watchers is highly effective. Maybe when you leave Mega you'll have more time to concentrate on yourself. I have tried WW twice (successfully) in my life. It's amazing the motivation it gives you when someone else weighs you once a week!

Posted by: Linda at January 19, 2006 02:17 PM (Z/zN3)

13 Ah Well! I'm a size 12 and built broad. When I'm not exercising (like now) I'm a size 14. No matter what I do, I will always be a size 12 thanks to my wide shoulders and gigantic boobs. I've always hated my body and I have gory, horrible plans of going under the scalpel. Then, I just lose the nerve. I don't think you look bad at all. You look cute and cuddly.

Posted by: plumpernickel at January 20, 2006 07:20 AM (/RNvc)

14 I think you are very pretty. It's one of the greatest rip-offs in this culture that our bodies are forced to fit the whims of our minds. I'm not saying that you shouldn't work toward whatever weight is comfortable, but the stigma of being overweight, both self-imposed and from others, really needs to disappear. And for the record- I am 5'9 and 140 pounds. To some people (and some clothing stores!) this falls on the heavy side. To others, it's quite slim. To me, it's perfect. Well, sure, I could lose 20 pounds again, but that was because I was too freaked out to eat. For months. Not a good diet plan. Do what it takes to make yourself feel healthy and pretty.

Posted by: madrigalia at January 20, 2006 03:59 PM (TBzUs)

15 And plumpernickel - I'm [a] broad, too!

Posted by: madrigalia at January 20, 2006 04:01 PM (TBzUs)

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There is a darkness in me these days.

I want to write, but my words seems stuck in a single groove of the record.

I am afraid.

I am angry.

I am angry at CD for not finding a job that pays what he knows he needs to make. For not hustling harder. For waiting until the last minute. Mere weeks before we lose my income. Knowing that if he doesn't support us, we'll have to sell the house or else have me go back to work. I have been saving him so long that I suspect, in my darkness, that he's just waiting for me to do it again.

I am angry at my co-workers, the ones on this fucking nightmare of an assignment. Especially the management. For treating people with such an utter lack of respect and dignity. For treating me as if I were a problem because I had the gall to file a complaint. I am pissed that I even care. But sometimes I think that my heart is my strength. I care. I CARE. It's part of what gives me power in my world, my heart beating strong. And I care. So it hurts.

I am angry at my child, for acting out. He's confused about what is happening, and I bet he is scared to. And it makes me furious at myself for snapping at him when he yells at me for eating his half of a donut when I was hungry, the donut I stopped and got for him as a treat and he never said thank you. I know he's a little kid, and that my expectations are way out of line. I make myself crazy not knowing if I should enforce the high expectations I always have or let it slide that he is so whiny these days, full of sudden tears and bouts of callous selfishness.

I am angry that I don't know what to do.

And then into this miasma of frustration and tension, I get angry at CD again. And at myself for giving me away for so long. To save him or enable him, I don't know where the line is anymore.

I don't know how far I will go.

I don't know what I will do to meet the darkness in me and find my light again.

I don't know how many times I will snap back at perfectly nice people who make the mistake of stepping on my last nerve.

I don't know what I will do if I am forced to sell the house. If I have that much forgiveness in me.

Actually I know the answer to that one.

I am fighting to save my marriage, my health, my wellbeing, my ability to parent. Against a darkness that has clung too long.

And I don't know if I will win.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 10:01 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 483 words, total size 2 kb.

I work with some of the greatest people in Corporate America. For example, one of the engineers called me today:

Him: You're really leaving?

Me: Yep.

Him: So where are you going? "Competitor Corporation"?

Me: Uh, no. Actually, it's not really...

Him: Oh, you're not. You ARE, aren't you?

Me: Uh...

Him: You're cliff-diving, aren't you? With no parachute!

Me: If you mean that I don't have another full-time job lined up...

Him: Just taking it on faith, huh?

Me: I guess you could say that.

Him: Wow. You know what, Elizabeth?

Me: Uh, what?

Him: That is totally cool. I wish you luck.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 01:32 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
Post contains 108 words, total size 1 kb.

For a long time, I wouldn't say it out loud or even on my blog because we didn't talk about it.

Clinical Depression.

My husband got sick. But you couldn't diagnose it with Cat Scans or Pet Scans or even Dog Scans cuz it wasn't some crazy mutant microbe that you could point at and say "Hey! Lois! Lookie here! I found the problem! This microbe is wearing pink pantaloons and carrying an itsy bitsy 12-gauge shotgun! Let's nuke it!"

No, not that cut and dried. It was just, well, a dark cloud that settled over him and into him and then, you know, the world fell apart. And in a blink of an eye our safe little world was shattered. Trashed. Incinerated. Buh-bye.

There's a commercial out right now that talks about Depression and where does it hurt... let me tell you where it hurts: everywhere.

Clinical Depression Sucks.

It looks on the outside, to a casual observer like... uh, a wife... it looks like sullenness, and laziness, and helplessness. It looks like lies. It looks like immaturity and anger and nastiness and insomnia. It looks like disgust. It looks like love turned into an enemy. But don't worry - it doesn't just hate you - it turns on its own host.

It turned on the man I loved.

It made him ugly to himself, and to me.

Clinical Depression is evil. I want it to take shape and form so I can beat the living crap out of it. I want to kill it dead and then revive it, so I can kill it again.

But life's not that easy. Because Clinical Depression seeps into the bones, it exaggerates a person's weaknesses and undermines their strengths and it was impossible to delineate when it was the depression talking because it was always CDÂ’s lips that were saying the words.

I take a lot of flak for how frightened I am to leave Mega.

Part of my fear comes from years of having to hang on so tight to this job. My fingers have no memory anymore of how to let go. This job, this health insurance, was all that has stood between us and ruin. I was lucky to do well at it, but that's beside the point - I was taking care of two people, one of whom was a helpless toddler and the other one was in a life-or-death battle that I didn't understand. This job was the only way I knew how to Make Things All Right.

So what now? Where is my money-back guarantee that if I walk away, things will be OK? Why isn't there some kind of scan or test that CD could take so I would know that the Clinical Depression won't come out of the shadows to destroy us?

I am scared. I am so scared that I can barely sleep. That I eat a bottle of Tums each day. That I cry in the shower. I am scared.

I've talked to my friends, CD, a counselor, my doctor. Rationally, I have weighed the Pro's and Con's and checked the budget and battened down the hatches.

But I am human, so my rational brain only gets to be in charge some of the time. The rest of the time my heart is at the wheel and my emotions flood me and I'm human. And I am scared.

And that's, I think, just going to be how it is until the day I hand over my laptop and my cell phone and my laminated Employee ID and take a deep breath and walk through that door to the other side.

And see what's there.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 11:41 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
Post contains 655 words, total size 3 kb.

So our bookkeeper sent us a lovely email message wishing us a new year and reminding us, gently, that people who are about to slash their incomes in less than half probably shouldn't be running a grand over their weekly budget.

*long, terrified gasp*

Although I HAD scheduled my freak-out for next week, I think I am going to have to start now.

*running in circles and waving my hands in the air*

Which, I must point out, is VERY inconvenient because I had really intended this week to kick off my 12-step Nyquil Anonymous meetings.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 09:54 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 114 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Ever hear of voluntary simplicity? Yeah, not something to get interested in right before the holidays. Hugs to you and your involuntary simplicity. And Happy New Year. To the best year of your life.

Posted by: ieatcrayonz at January 01, 2006 01:28 PM (T/CTF)

2 One day at a time, Elizabeth. One day at a time. Dare I wish you a happy new year? I do.

Posted by: caltechgirl at January 01, 2006 02:35 PM (uI/79)

3 A freak-out seems to be an appropriate response. Big hugs for you....this is a scary transition. Nyquil is my freind too. Although for a nasty cough I have discovered Mucinex DM to be my better friend. It is over the counter but you may have to have them unlock the glass cabinet to get it out. I hope you are feeling better. This sure is a nasty bug going around.

Posted by: laura at January 01, 2006 05:01 PM (FzMzF)

4 Ouch, big cuts ahead, ouch. Turn down the blasted thermostate to 62 and turn it down to 55 at night. Wear sweaters and wool socks. Trust me when I tell you that you'll see a big savings right away. I saved $140.00 in oil last month by doing those simple things. Also turn the lights off. No light on except in the room you're in, my electric bill went down $25.00 a month. Auntie Marfa (who's income dropped 70% in June)

Posted by: Autie Marfa at January 02, 2006 06:31 AM (/qtT1)

5 Oh, man, happy new year... hang in there!

Posted by: ben at January 02, 2006 06:37 AM (M1nT3)

6 The thermostat down to 62?? Good Lord. I guess that's what it will take. Might I suggest Ramen? I used to live on $10 the last week of every month when I was in college. I had a little bit of a problem with balancing my budget. You could also go back to dial-up... HA HA HA! Just kidding.

Posted by: Lucinda at January 02, 2006 08:19 AM (OPvIN)

7 Old accountant joke, about the guy that was trying to hire an accountant, and tested them each with documents. He finally hired the guy that when he asked "how much money profit do we have?" replied "how much do you want it to be?" I know this doesn't help any, but maybe it'll give you something to chuckle about while waving your arms. Helps me.

Posted by: ben at January 03, 2006 10:25 AM (M1nT3)

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