Corporate Mommy

April 27, 2007

Enough, Already

I need a new t-shirt. One that says "I'm Sorry".

Because I am.

My husband, my friends, my house, my son, my family, my blog have all put up with being neglected for almost 6 months, now.

Well, "put up with it" is probably stretching things.

"Endured" is a better word.

I read on a board today ... "It helps to have low expectations" and almost snorted my coffee out my nose.

It's just so true about my days right now.

I look at pictures even from as recently as last summer and realize how barely I am keeping my head above water.

My doctor acked if there was any way to lower the stress level, and we didn;t come up with anything.

Mostly, though? We need to sell this house.

I wish my husband was the kind of guy who could take the lead with that. Or even, you know, help.

He hasn't done anything, though.

CD says he wants to move, but is completely and utterly paralyzed about doing anything about it. He can do chores, take our son to T-Ball games and Karate, even balance the bills.

But when it comes to the stuff that needs to happen for the house to go on the market - the roof, bathroom, and kitchen - he can't so much as arrange for someone to give us a quote.

When we got back from our Canadian trip, I just sort of collapsed again. Overwhelmed by what needs to be done and how alone it feels to be facing it without him.

I think if a truck rolled up tomorrow, he would go sit in the car and pretend it wasn't happening.

A 100-year old house with plaster and lathe walls that constantly shed a fine dust that makes out son sick is obviously something that needs to be addressed.

A 100-year old house that we can not afford because of our reduced income? Ditto.

A 100-year old house across the street from a pedophile and in a poor school district? Yeah, you've caught the trend.

The point is that we need to move. Canada, Iceland, Maine, Timbuktu. Don't matter where, so much as SOON.

We agreed this last Thanksgiving, and put together a plan. One that needs two people to execute, but only me is doing. And as I battle my illness, I have become so afraid that a disaster is looming.

And I don't know what to do.

I don't want to be Chicken Little in my home anymore. Flapping my arms up and down and trying to get CD motivated to DO something for the house.

Enough already.

Enough, dammit.

Enough.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 07:54 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 447 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Call a good realtor, list the house with them and have them contact the repair people. They are very good at this plus they know who does good work. The more they get fixed, the higher the price and the more they make. All you need to do is let the workers in and write those checks.

Posted by: LeeAnn at April 27, 2007 10:28 AM (JQe3J)

2 Contact some house sellers in your area. You can be as involved or as uninvolved as you chose. Contact the ugly house people. Smaller might make you happier. Get yourself well too.

Posted by: Another Jenn at April 28, 2007 08:51 AM (ekW3E)

3 Elizabeth, sell your house "as is." Granted you might not get as much as you would like for it but then you do not have the repair costs or the stress of organizing repairs. It's six of one and half a dozen of the other. Make sure your realtor includes a "sale of house in 'as is' condition" rider to the real estate contract. Of course, you also need to be truthful in your real estate disclosure form; and if there are serious issues, it will impact the ability to sell and the sales price.

Posted by: margaret at April 28, 2007 10:45 AM (hyRRs)

4 I agree with Margaret. We delayed our last house sale by 8 unhappy months and made 2,000 more after all that work than we would have without it. Was it worth 8 months of tears, fights and divorce contemplation? Absolutely not - call in an agent. Get some advice and if you can financially stand it cut your loses and run!

Posted by: Flikka at April 29, 2007 12:49 PM (puvdD)

5 Oh the bright side, at least you know he can't help and you know you have to do it yourself. (So many people get stuck waiting and have to deal with the disappointment of lies plus the disappointment of having to do it themselves.) I'm in week three of renovations after starting to call contractors in January. I know your pain. Just do one thing. Maybe just call one contractor and set up one appointment. Just one. And then one more. And, if it's going well and you have it in you, one more after that. It'll happen eventually. (Maybe you could make a game of it with your son. Make a chart with names, numbers, notes and appointment times. Fill it in. See how it goes. Make it a fun learning experience. It'll teach him a valuable lesson.)

Posted by: Cassa at April 30, 2007 05:49 AM (fNQPp)

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April 02, 2007

I'm Fine, How Are You?

I woke up this morning with a to-do list as long as my arm. A headache. And a bad attitude.

Moving to Canada? Is killing me with details. And this could go on for as long as two years.

Trying to climb on top of it all, I let Bear watch some Power Rangers while I made calls and answered emails, and it was the wrong wrong wrong damn thing to do. Television during the day is like pouring some kind of anti-happy poison down his throat. Fine when he's sick but otherwise? A recipe for an U-G-L-Y mood.

Sure enough, Bear got snottier and snottier over about 90 minutes. At one point, screaming at me to bring him popcorn and refusing to do chores or come study when I turned it off. We ended up arguing and as I type this, he is in a serious time-out.

It's 2:30PM and I want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head.

So, while we wait for the dear child I love to return to me and the Advil to kick in... here are some pictures.

1. This was "Corporate Mommy's" inbox just a couple of hours ago. I love checking it. The joy of these emails - even when I am so so so very behind in responding - keeps me going sometimes:

2. This is the picture I had in my mind when I told CD yesterday at Lowe's that yes, thank you, we should wait to put in our annuals. It has snowed every April I can remember...

3. This is Bear after Saturday morning's Easter Egg hunt. That boy LOVES him some Easter Egg hunting!

4. I was looking through some pictures as I compiled a batch for this year's family calendar, and I came across this one from Paris. It made my heart flip-flop. After a quarter of my life, he still makes my heart flip-flop. I practically fall to my knees in gratitude on a daily basis that we survived those last few years of his recovery.