OK, I actually went and attempted to make a poll. My first, and it has somehow turned my site green but I have decided that this is a good thing.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 11:56 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 I love Minneapolis. I think it's beautiful and charming and if you can stand the cold (I love the cold ) I would totally move there.

Posted by: kalisah at August 31, 2005 02:26 PM (C7RFb)

2 I'd vote Denver, except it defeats your low cost of living goal. So I picked a different one. They are all awesome places, though, and each one distinct. I envy you the scouting trips!

Posted by: Jennifer at August 31, 2005 02:50 PM (1X5Jq)

3 Portland is my hometown, so I will admit that bias. It's a beautiful city where the ocean, the mountains, and the desert are just 1-2 hours away. The environment is priority, bike lanes are everywhere, public transportation is accessible, great restaurants are just around the corner, and just because a woman has short hair doesn't automatically mean she's a lesbian. That said...I also know its limitations. 1. "I see white people" is a definite truth there. 2. A few years ago, the public schools had to close a month early because the asshole voters couldn't pass a property tax raise. 3. Portland has become a city of rich white couples with no children. Schools are less and less of a priority to the citizens at large, unless you live in the horrid suburbs.

Posted by: FemaleCSGradStudent at August 31, 2005 06:29 PM (VPke+)

4 I guess we are missing the point of low-cost areas, since so many of us picked Paris : ) I haven't been to any of those areas, but I think I'd say Portland because its close to California and I love it. But doesn't it not snow much in Portland?

Posted by: halloweenlover at September 01, 2005 05:47 AM (cdEd4)

5 I'm sure you're getting sick of these Move To The Twin Cities comments - but I have one last (maybe) thing to add - WE are totally diverse here - - really, really diverse! I promise!!!

Posted by: cursingmama at September 01, 2005 07:21 AM (PoQfr)

6 Well I went with Paris but that's only because "Michele's house" wasn't on the poll.

Posted by: Michele at September 01, 2005 09:37 AM (FN5hT)

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OK, first of let me say to all Minnesotans that the Twin Cities do indeed rock. And not just because I am all about the snow (really, I am like a reverse lizard). Also, there's the throwing my hat in the air and twirling on a street corner thing - which I could do all day and night, you betcha.

And the "Midwest IT Corridor" (No! It's Real! Really real! Not like Sasquatch. Really! They said so in a magazine article that one time!) is anchored there (*cough* Seymour Cray *cough*).

So we're planning, so far, 3 scouting trips. One to the Pacific Northwest. One to Denver. And one up Wisconsin as far towards Minnesota as we get before the snow gets too bad and we have to kill the tauntauns to stay warm.

I was telling this to my friend this afternoon and she replied, in her best scary movie voice, "....I see white people."

She had a point. It's hard to imagine living in a place with little diversity. A place where good Thai can't be had at 2AM. A place without a big water, where you can skip rocks and watch the clouds reflected.

When CD asked me, would I be willing to move in order to have my dream of being a SAHM, and I said yes. I meant yes. I am excited to announce "Yes!" But that won't mean it will be easy.

I wrote a long email to a friend in Denver about our choices. I said that our long-term goals were crashing into our daily life. As long as we live here, I have to work. The cost of living is just too high - no matter how frugal we try to be.

So we search for a place with a thriving tech base, low cost of living. An amazing neighborhood. A house full of character. Where the landscape will feed our souls.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 09:14 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 Hey hey! What happened to New England! We don't smell bad, I promise. Do you know that I haven't been to any of those places? Not a one. I am from San Francisco, though, and I love the weather, although there isn't that much snow. If you really would consider Ma or one of the neighboring states, I am happy to chat with you about them. We did quite a bit of town searching while we were moving here. Good luck! This is very exciting!

Posted by: halloweenlover at August 31, 2005 09:52 AM (cdEd4)

2 A little "I smell white people story" for you: At my doctor's appointment on Monday, one of the nurses was African-American. Caleb asked me about the "chocolate lady". Shows you how white our little town is - my son had never seen a black person before!?!? I explained that God makes people in all different colors. He said, "so she's chocolate, I'm white, you're white, and Daddy's old!" Couldn't convince him that she had not actually covered herself in chocolate, but oh well.

Posted by: Cheryl at August 31, 2005 11:58 AM (xz8OC)

3 Believe it or not, there are two Thai restaurants within three miles of my house. I don't know if they're open at 2am, though. Boulder is very eclectic, so you might want to look somewhere close to there. There are lots of nice towns and planned communities within 15 miles of Boulder. We chose a small town, and I absolutely love the feeling of belonging to an actual town, as opposed to a cookie-cutter suburb. Most of the communities around here are pretty and quaint, and they all look new, although I'm sure that's not the case. Things seem to be very well-maintained here. The white people thing is totally true. There are lots of Hispanics, but I've seen less than ten non-Caucasians in the month that we've lived here. There is a black female anchor on the news, though, so maybe they're not prejudiced? Depending on when you're planning to move, you may be able to get in on the ground floor of a new community. There's one just north of Denver called Anthem Highlands that's going to be built by Pulte. You can often make quite a bit of money by being among the first to buy in a new community. Good luck!

Posted by: notdonnareed at August 31, 2005 03:29 PM (RFcQ+)

4 If you come to Madison, give me a call, seriously. I haven't learned all the restaurants yet but yes, there are Thai ones. Email me...it'd be wonderful to meet you and Bear at last. (:

Posted by: Anna at August 31, 2005 05:12 PM (FO7pv)

5 Good luck! You are so friggin lucky. I'd love to move anywhere I wanted to.

Posted by: Lucinda at September 01, 2005 05:47 AM (OPvIN)

6 Hey, hey, hey Minneapolis has PLENTY of big water!

Posted by: cc at September 01, 2005 06:55 AM (O2Ovh)

7 Speaking on behalf of your male readers, you've earned our respect and undying loyalty with your tauntaun reference.

Posted by: Jason at September 01, 2005 10:56 AM (E4APS)

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When we (and I mean me) were writing our vows, I included the promise that we would be partners in parenthood.

I said it out loud. And I meant it. But the truth is that I am the primary parent -I research the care options, I take care of the insurance and the appointments, I do most of the driving, I make the recommendations (and most of the decisions) about schooling and activties. I am the one who is permanently flexible to accomodate changes in schedule.

And I am so sick of it. I am so sick of being shot down and patronized. I want someone who suits up with their own opinions, who is as invested as a I am in the long-term, who is right there in the trenches with me.

You see CD and Bear together and you know that these two just adore each other. And then you see me, the pack mule following behind with kit, the kaboodle, the immunization chart, the babysitting schedule, the bag of holding, and the exhausted expression.

It is this just how it is?

Posted by: Elizabeth at 05:06 AM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
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In a development that stunned the long-distance travelling world, it took us 31 hours to get home. This is a new family record, people! The longest we've ever taken to drive the 1120 miles previously is 27 hours.

That kind of meandering takes talent and focus.

Oh. Stars. Now I have to unpack.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 03:15 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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We left Thursday.

Since then, we have: driven 1260 miles, go-karted, slept in a smelly Days Inn in Erie, Pennsylvania, bumper boated, found the rental house on Cape Cod, been to the beach, eaten seafood, bounced on a trampoline, hunted for shells, caught hermit crabs, patted a skunk at the zoo, slathered aloe vera on the sunburn, shopped at quaint stores, listened to a free big band concert in a methodist church, sampled several ice cream stores, cleaned the sand out of the van, and ridden a pony. OK, I did not personally ride a pony. But Bear did, and I have pictures to prove it.

We've got another 4 days of this happiness.

So I'm typing this from the wifi-enabled Brooks Free Library in Harwichport, Massachusetts. I'm the one in the lime green halter top and jean skirt in the fiction section, between Len Deighton and John Irving. Please, I beg you...bring coffee. And a flask of liquor.

Hurry.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 06:57 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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At my doctor's appointment today, I mentioned that my hands had started hurting - especially at night - once in a while since I went on these beta blockers.

She looked down at my hands, with the dusky fingertips, and back up at me.

"It just isn't going to be easy for you..." she said with a sigh, as she changed my prescription.

It's called Raynaud's Phenomenon, a syndrome probably triggered by my Lupus.

I asked about the treatment. She said that when I woke up with these stinging pains, I should put my hands in warm water until the sensation passed.

"Well, OK," I told her. "But you understand that it's no win if my fingers stop hurting but I wet the bed."

"Absolutely," she agreed. "On the other hand, I hear they're making Depends in coordinating colors now."

Posted by: Elizabeth at 11:44 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Well, I've been off the LexaPro for several days and I have one thing to say: Tom Cruise has his head firmly wedged up his heinie. I'd send him a can opener to help him with that, but with all these international mailing security concerns it just wouldn't do. So here's my advice: Katie! Grab the Crisco! Your boy needs some lube and a whole lotta help!

Let me take you back, back to last night at 1:10AM. I'd been in bed for a couple of hours, trying to sleep. After a bathroom visit, I notice as I peek from the hallway that my son is still in the same position as when he fell asleep.

10 minutes later, from my side of the bed....

Me: Pssst, CD? Honey?

CD: Mrhmf?

Me: Can you go check on Bear?

CD: Mrhurdihrumf?

Me: He's still in the same position as when he fell asleep.... (voice trails off with the following thought deeply embedded in the silence: "... and he usually flops like a fish in his sleep ending upside down and backwards by now so obviously something DRASTIC has happened and I am too terrified to go check for myself...")

[pause for the whir of the air conditioner]

CD: Hrm, OK.

A few seconds later.... he stumbles back into bed.

CD: He's fine, honey.

Me: And you checked...

CD: He's breathing, he's sleeping, he's fine.

And then? Then I was relieved enough that I could get up myself and check. I sat in my son's room, watching his chubby hands and toes stretch as he snored softly. I thought about moving him from this house he loves so much, with these wonderful neighbors. I thought about how sad it would make him. I thought about the fleeting nature of childhood and how the mistakes we make as parents echo through a lifetime. I thought about all the evilmongers who would harm my child if they could.

I got myself into such a tizzy that it took me over an hour to get back to sleep.

So what have we learned? That my current levels of anxiety had mutated me into Shirley MacLaine in "Terms of Endearment". I am Aurora, crazy lady from Chicago. It took a few years of advanced stress squishing me like a bug, but it's official - I've passed some kind of threshold into a bad, strange, spinning place.

I am calling Dr. Wonderful. I'm gonna tell him that Tom Cruise is Wrong, that just because Lexapro didn't work that I am not giving up. I need a new drug, and a kind voice.

And I need it now.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 03:41 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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