When I first said that I was leaving my job, someone asked in a comment if I would be shutting down this site or changing the name. At the time, I couldn't imagine either. After all, I am the Corporate Mommy.

Laptop bag over one shoulder, kid on my hip, hair highlighted, cell phone buzzing.

Only... not anymore.

Me & Bear, Karate Tournament, 2/06

There's a great Princess Bride quote;. "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." I've always wondered how Inigo would introduce himself if there had been a sequel, once the guy who murdered his father had died.

CD & Bear, Minneapolis, 2/06

How do I introduce myself now? As simply the 'Mommy'? or 'Wife & Mommy'? These two males, are they my identity anchor now?

"What now? Who am I?" have been the questions that would pop into my head over and over as the roller coaster of the past few weeks has ripped me along for the ride.

If I thought life after a full-time job would give me a field of breathing room, I was seriously deluded.

I hosted a bridal shower for my firend Laura. I tackled a mountain of paperwork that came with becoming ex-employee. I discovered from a reporter that the nice neighbor across the street is an ex-Catholic Priest and a pedophile. I had my son tested for ADD.

Painted a bedroom. I returned to the Cathedral for the first time since I resigned, and took Communion. I reconnected with my husband after 5 years of growing apart. Attended a race. A Karate tournament. Visited with my father and stepmother. Made about 70 frillion pipe cleaner animals. I lost my mind. Cried my way through an economy bundle of tissues. Got my hair streaked with magenta. Contemplated a tatoo. Prayed.

Wallowed in self-pity even after I kept thinking I was "over it". Spent some serious sessions with a therapist.

St. Jame's Cathedral, Chicago, Easter/06

Did a bagazillion errands. A small desktop publishing project. Decorated the bedroom. Cooked. Cleaned. Spent countless hours with my son.

Bear, Lincoln's Monument in Grant Park, Chicago, 3/06

And something I didn't do...

Write.

The longest break I've taken in my journalling since I was 13 years old.

I didn't mean to. There were some technical problems. But mostly, there were spirit problems. As in, the spirit wasn't willing.

I would get up and look at the computer or at the notebook on the desk. And I wouldn't start.

Just... wouldn't start.

"Who" and"What" questions wrestling in my mind. My fingers still.

There's been no sunbeam moment that solved anything.

I hope that I'm forgiven for disappearing.

Now that I found my start.

Sunshine, Chicago, 4/06

Hello. My name is Elizabeth Blair York.

I used to be a corporate mommy.

This is my journal.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 05:33 AM | Comments (43) | Add Comment
Post contains 481 words, total size 4 kb.

1 So glad you're back.

Posted by: Cheryl at May 11, 2006 06:10 AM (cc8T+)

2 Welcome back... I was wondering what had happened and am happy to see a new post.

Posted by: Becky at May 11, 2006 06:11 AM (JKGfQ)

3 Hello again.

Posted by: Genuine at May 11, 2006 06:53 AM (bOkl4)

4 Welcome back!

Posted by: Elizabeth at May 11, 2006 06:55 AM (v+q53)

5 Hello and welcome back! Before anything else, I must ask....do we get to see a picture of the new hair streaks?! I have the same dilemma when introducing myself. Am I a teacher, even though I've been out of the classroom for 4 years? Am I just the teacher's wife? A mom? What do I say when people ask "What do you DO all day?" I've found it's best to just go with my name. That's who I am. Not His Wife, or Their Mummy, or The Teacher. Just me.

Posted by: Tammy at May 11, 2006 06:56 AM (M++hX)

6 Hello, dear. You're looking lovely.

Posted by: ieatcrayonz at May 11, 2006 06:56 AM (FLJz9)

7 Welcome back! I remember my surprise after leaving my old job at how BUSY I was as a SAHM. I look forward to reading the next chapter in your life.

Posted by: Donna at May 11, 2006 07:07 AM (U+YqD)

8 Hello Elizabeth! We're listening/reading.

Posted by: Northern_Girl at May 11, 2006 07:14 AM (qUaaW)

9 Hi, honey. I missed you and I'm thrilled to see you back!

Posted by: RP at May 11, 2006 07:18 AM (LlPKh)

10 It's very nice to see you here again. And you know? I think a blog name change wouldn't be so bad. You're not the corporate mommy any more. You're Elizabeth. And there's so much more to you than a title.

Posted by: Jennifer at May 11, 2006 07:18 AM (jl9h0)

11 We missed you! I'm so glad you're back.

Posted by: cursingmama at May 11, 2006 07:27 AM (PoQfr)

12 So happy to see you are back.

Posted by: mommy2wahid at May 11, 2006 07:47 AM (1H561)

13 Hi, I am so glad you are back! I've checked your blog daily and had started to get worried. I was going to try to send you an email today just to see if you were ok and amazingly you are here! I'm so glad you're back!! We've missed you!

Posted by: Cindy at May 11, 2006 01:18 PM (oy7Ur)

14 Hi Elizabeth - Just dropping by to invite you to add your tradecard to the Supermom Gallery http://hlb.blogspot.com

Posted by: Helene at May 11, 2006 01:54 PM (ln0MA)

15 I've been checking in most every day too. I'm glad you're back and I enjoyed the photos!

Posted by: Jill at May 11, 2006 01:55 PM (mPnaW)

16 Welcome back, Elizabeth! I've missed you.

Posted by: Ruth at May 11, 2006 01:58 PM (ZkZtT)

17 I'm glad you're back - I've been worrying! Loved the post - it made me exhale!

Posted by: Flikka at May 11, 2006 03:06 PM (puvdD)

18 Nice to meet you (again), Elizabeth!

Posted by: madrigalia at May 11, 2006 03:51 PM (20oYL)

19 Welcome back! I was getting worried and hoping that you were having an adjustment period and not a "no more blog" period. Whew.

Posted by: paige at May 11, 2006 10:23 PM (SV/CZ)

20 You aren't back, you are brand new. Welcome.

Posted by: JC at May 12, 2006 12:21 AM (IdBy7)

21 Hello! Glad to see that your back! I hope things are going better for you.

Posted by: ashleigh at May 12, 2006 02:50 AM (MuwP5)

22 Welcome back. We missed you.

Posted by: abogada at May 12, 2006 04:51 AM (NmdrC)

23 Hi. Nice to meet you again. Glad you're back. Don't be away so long next time!

Posted by: caltechgirl at May 12, 2006 06:09 AM (/vgMZ)

24 Missed you bunches - glad you're back (and sounding even better than ever)!

Posted by: beth at May 12, 2006 09:03 AM (IUoqt)

25 Welcome back. You were missed.

Posted by: Polichick at May 12, 2006 01:51 PM (rQJQP)

26 Guess you needed the break. Wow, you look happy in the picture, and pretty too. A guy friend once told me he thought the best makeup a woman could wear was a smile. That smile certainly worked for you.

Posted by: Susan at May 12, 2006 04:21 PM (XxRGL)

27 Elizabeth...welcome back! And...nice to meet the new you!

Posted by: Grace at May 13, 2006 04:38 AM (L058b)

28 So glad to have you back!

Posted by: Jacque at May 13, 2006 08:54 AM (C/Usc)

29 Hi Elizabeth! However you choose to define yourself, I'm glad you're back.

Posted by: Kimberly at May 13, 2006 09:55 AM (CXd4V)

30 ELIZABETH! Nice to meet you, again... I'm so glad you're back. Magenta highlights? That ROCKS, dude.

Posted by: Stacy at May 13, 2006 04:18 PM (wQkUI)

31 You GO, girl. xoxo

Posted by: Margi at May 13, 2006 05:59 PM (BRtaN)

32 So glad to see you back, E. I am inspired by your post and your redefining yourself with this journal. I should look into doing that as well, after all. Nice to meet you (again)! Sol

Posted by: Sol at May 14, 2006 06:53 AM (IteW6)

33 Happy Mother's Day, my sweet.

Posted by: Margi at May 14, 2006 09:48 AM (BRtaN)

34 You were missed abs x

Posted by: abs at May 14, 2006 07:58 PM (ZiD7d)

35 How about "Hi! My name is Elizabeth." You are a woman. You are gorgeous, talented, brilliant and powerful. You do it all. :-)

Posted by: jozet at May 15, 2006 01:08 AM (/hSUT)

36 yay! glad to meet you (again), Elizabeth.

Posted by: alice at May 15, 2006 03:13 AM (DeROi)

37 Hey girl! So glad to have you back!

Posted by: Monica C. at May 15, 2006 06:30 AM (gkN3L)

38 Enjoy your blog. Gives me hope. I'm going through a rough time, one I think you've managed to pull through. Hope there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Posted by: Clair_v at May 15, 2006 02:35 PM (Gt/gg)

39 Include photographer in that - you, or someone, takes great photos.

Posted by: Mia at May 16, 2006 04:24 AM (aEZkR)

40 I changed my blog name after I stopped blogging for two years and I mourned the loss of that website for awhile, but I realized I mourned the loss of something else, not really the website. Sometimes change is good, if it comes at the right time.

Posted by: trish at May 16, 2006 08:26 AM (tFkbn)

41 Wonderful to have you back.

Posted by: karmajenn at May 17, 2006 12:51 AM (fx1A8)

42 Glad to have you back. It's so hard "watching" people go through depressing times and not being able to help. When I start to feel bad I get big reality checks. I read you all time time as well as this blog http://cancerbaby.typepad.com/cancerbaby/ Like you, she was an amazing writer but unlike our shared experience of a layoff she was dealing with a far more serious issue and helped me put my life in perspective. Bottom line - live for today, for your children and find joy in the simple act of awakening to discover another day. You rock and I'm such an admirer of your struggle and your acceptance of the unknown road ahead!

Posted by: Nicole at May 18, 2006 09:26 AM (Qx4n7)

43 Way to go. Gald you are back.

Posted by: Chica at May 18, 2006 03:25 PM (OMil+)

Hide Comments | Add Comment