New Beginings
Like an internal alarm, I've been realizing lately that there are things in my life that have been going on too long. That I have been letting slip and slide. Thinking about changing but never really getting a foothold.
So I made the decision to get moving. After New Year's I began slowly putting my shoulder to the roadblocks in the path of my happiness.
I had my bookkeeper separate our finances, so that we could each shoulder a fair share and I could stop feeling bitter about having to go back to work. And it is begining to help, emotionally.
I told my management that I wanted the luxury of off the promotion track, and they agreed.
I put a deadline on how long I would work in this house, under these conditions (this place has been stalled "in the middle of a rehab" for years and it is a miserable place to spend 20 hours a day). And CD agreed.
And finally, I looked down at my overweight body and decided I needed help. Real help. So I found a new GP, and we came up with some strategies. She's a wonderful doctor, and supportive of what I've done so far and the goals I have (which are reasonable).
I came out of her office pumped up but then I immediately began wobbling. For 3 months now, I have been wobbling. Toes in the pool, but still undecided.
This morning I made the call. In 10 days, I begin down the path that will ultimately have a rubber band tied around my stomach to help me lose this weight. (Note, this is NOT Gastric Bypass. This is something called "Lap Band" - reversable, adjustable, and much less invasive, less risky, and less drastic than gastric bypass.)
I'm nervous, and scared.
I feel weak for needing help.
But I want back the energy and health and attractiveness that I had. It's been 5 years since I began gaining the weight, and I have to give up this idea that somehow it will melt off if I just eat right, or try a new diet, or just excersize a little more.
So even though I am scared, I'm going to put one foot in front of the other.
Posted by: Elizabeth at
02:22 AM
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1
wow, that takes a lot of guts, but if there's one thing I know about you, it's that you're STRONG. Maybe you're too close to see it, but I see a woman who can do anything. We're behind you all the way, E. You're gonna do great.
Posted by: kalisah at May 27, 2005 02:26 AM (C7RFb)
2
Baby steps ... baby steps. Really, the hardest part of it all is just getting started - now that you've done that things, hopefully, won't be as terrifying.
Just the thought of having surgery is a very scary thought. It comes down to weighing the pros and cons - the pros outweighing (ha no pun intended) the cons in your case. I, too, have been struggling with whether or not the lap band is right for me ... it's going to have to wait until all of the frozen pops have been used up.
*hug!!*
Posted by: Michele at May 27, 2005 04:20 AM (iTYOZ)
3
I commend you on your courage and wish you the best of luck with the whole thing! Go get 'em!
Posted by: RP at May 27, 2005 04:59 AM (LlPKh)
4
Wow!!! Good for you!! I am so proud of you and what you are doing for yourself!! You go, girl!!!
Posted by: Azalea at May 27, 2005 11:10 AM (hRxUm)
5
Excellent! Good for you for taking the first step. My mother always says, "You can't look after anyone else if you don't look after yourself."
I really enjoy your blog.
Posted by: christina at May 27, 2005 11:18 AM (TLIov)
6
Elizabeth, I wish you all the best on this path. Please keep your fans posted.
All the best to a truly brave and wonderful person...
Posted by: GraceD at May 27, 2005 07:08 PM (cRTn2)
7
Wow. You have the right idea and are on the right track. Stay positive, don't give into Fear, and continue working toward what is important to you. I'm proud of you for being brave! Really.
Posted by: Philip at May 29, 2005 08:56 AM (F5pXc)
8
Good for you! I know nothing about the lap band, but I am off to look it up. Let us know how this goes, and what happens.
Good too, for setting limits in the rest of your life as well. You are the most important person in your life!
Hey! Wait just a second! When did you get a new celebrity boyfriend? Where'd whassisname go?!
Posted by: Tammy/averagemom at May 30, 2005 10:25 AM (aFeo0)
9
Goodness, Baby.
You sure know how to make a woman worry.
Posted by: Helen at May 31, 2005 05:13 AM (8wm0s)
Posted by: ~Easy at May 31, 2005 05:44 AM (cpfeI)
11
Elizabeth, congratulations on setting limits for yourself and facing new challenges in the name of happiness.
I wish you all the best in your weight loss adventure. When I think of going through life as an overweight mommy, I realize that it's worth it to try my best and become healthy for my child's sake. You go, girl.
Posted by: Robyn at May 31, 2005 06:59 AM (FLJz9)
12
I love it when I see people start acting/moving/changing what they don't like about their current situation.
It - the act of doing *something* makes you feel better because you are at least in the game.
Good for you.
Though I don't know you, I am proud of your hard work and I hope you keep moving forward.
Posted by: torren at June 08, 2005 08:09 AM (oe5qz)
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