December 02, 2004

Friend to Buskers and Tin-eared Critics Alike

CD got out his guitar and started playing THAT song. "Love is all you need". Badly. And singing. Badly. Sweetly. But badly.

Bear got up, went over to the change jar, got a handful, and dropped it in CD's open guitar case.

Don't encourage him, kid.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 04:50 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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It's an honor just to be nominated... (Weblog Awards Edition)

So GENUINE IM's me with his congratulations. And I'm a dufus, so I'm like "Uh, thanks... for what?!" And that's how I found out.

more...

Posted by: Elizabeth at 02:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Random Words and Little Decisions

Two weeks ago was a week of anger and acting mean. Last week was one of despair. This week started in immobilizing sadness. But by yesterday I had begun to breath again. I've been making decisions. Little ones.

That is not to say that I am gearing up for big decisions. What is next is not a momentous announcement. What is next is more little decisions.

I heard one that 'Character is in the choices we make first thing in the morning and not in response to something that has gone wrong'. I am trying to feel out my character. I am trying to make choices that build love and peace. Even if they hurt. Even if they confound me. I am pushing away at the yummy isolation - moving from reaction into action.

On that note, let me say .... I think I am in love with all the people who read my site.

Except that one, and that other one. Who seemed to think that I was doing them a favor by being in a brittle place because they felt stronger in comparison. My advice, and no one asked for it, is that if there needs to be a comparison study to feel good about one's life then somewhere someone got the definition of "life" wrong.

And on that note, life is too short not to be panting for one's Celebrity Boyfriend. Therefore, and I know this will break his heart, but I really think I need to break up with Bradley Whitford. I'll still adore him, but for the second Thursday in a row I realized that *whoops* 'West Wing' was on last night and I forgot. My celebrity boyfriend needs to be compelling.

I am trolling for suggestions.

And as a practical follow-up to "Sorry seems to be..." I have almost finished the holiday not-newsletter. It is December 2, and normally I would be done by now. But I found myself unable to write about the year. Not because it is all bad. Of course not. There was much good. But because right now, this minute - the prism of my perspective is muddy.

Instead I created 10 minutes of a DVD with the un-Photoshopped JPG and AVI files of the year (yes, raw. I'm not brave, it's just that the program I was using is an intolerant b*tch) . I finally picked the music. "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys, "Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong and "Love is all you need" by the Beatles and sung by Lyndon David Hall.

I have decided that if I never hear "Love is all you need" again, that would be just fine.

That accomplished last night. By this morning, I was feeling a little more "me".

I got up this morning at 4:30. Actually got out of bed at 5:15. Pulled it all together for a strong status report today. I put my head back in the game. I told a new exec out in the UK who was talking to me afterwards that yes, I was might be interested in relocating to the UK. I brushed up my CV.

Most of all, today I cherished Bear. Like the tingling you get when your foot wakes up - sometimes being so connected to another human being just plain hurts. I don't want to think about his dad and I but how can I not when I look at Bear's smattering of freckles and impish grin? I love him for who he is all by himself. But in him, there is always the both of us.

I have decided to take Elia, our own Mary Poppins, home and then to give Bear a bubble bath. I have decided to take tomorrow afternoon for us to make cookies. I have decided to call the doctor in the morning and have my annual check-up - even though it means that I will end up with my breasts frozen and squished in a metal vise in the torture that is genteely known as a mammogram.

And between CD and I, there has been no major improvements; no unbreachable gulfs. There is respect and gentle civility. There is a mountain ahead. I don't know yet where the path will lead.

I have decided to keep walking. Until tomorrow. In little steps. And see.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 11:54 AM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
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December 01, 2004

How to Handle Difficult People

When I taught seminars, my company would let me take any public seminar they offered for free. Probably so I would pimp them in the seminars I was giving. Like THAT was going to happen. Saying to 50 guys with doubled pocket protectors and triple pagers - Hello, I know you're here to learn how to code IP addresses, but let me tell you about my company's latest offering "Love Letters to Your Soul"...

I kept some of the free books they sent me though. Like "How to Handle Difficult People." It categorizes people into groups with tactics for dealing with each. "The Plaintive Princess" "The Guerrila Gorilla" "The Smiling Steamroller"

That last one is me.

Yeah, I'm a steamroller, baby. To quote James Taylor.

And that's OK. I'm learning to be a gentler, kinder steamroller. And Luckily I work with a LOT of other steamrollers. So some meetings look more like roller derbies. But it's all good. Usually.

Today I got on the phone with a friendly steamroller from some years ago. We work in the same group now, yet we never actually work together. So it's been a couple of years. This is what happens wwhen two steamrollers collide. more...

Posted by: Elizabeth at 03:44 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Shooting in Wisconsin

Dear Hunter,

A very good friend of the family is a hunter. I bet he's spent over a million dollars over his life travelling and hunting. From Russia to points south. Plus the Taxidermy, yikes. The inside of his house is unreal. You've never seen anything like it... the heads, the antlers, the life-sized bear.

We visit him and his wife every year -I have known them all my life, and at 4 years old my son can point and tell you what is animal is what for the most part. He knows those walls pretty well.

And I feel safe with my son there. These are wonderful people, responsible and kind Yankees; third-generation friends.

Personally, I loathe guns. And I think what happened with Vang is an extreme tragedy. His response was criminal. He took human lives. He should suffer the punishment for his actions.

But the racisim that preceded it must be addressed. Wherever there is intimdation, fear - bullying. There will always be those who are triggered to a disproportional response. No excuses for what they do, we can't stop them. But we can adress the trigger. It is what we, as bystanders, CAN do in the face of this tragedy.

Just my 2 cents.

Thank you for commenting and for speaking your mind.

Elizabeth

(click on the extended entry to read the original post) more...

Posted by: Elizabeth at 12:35 PM | Comments (19) | Add Comment
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