February 28, 2005
He would share
Driving home today after dropping his babysitter off, Bear and I were discussing whether he felt well enough to hit the grocery store.
(He'd stayed home today with a mild case of sniffles).
We agreed we should stop in and get some food. Bear suggested that we should buy some gifts for the new baby - some family friends recently had a little girl and we've been gathering up little gifts and hand-me-downs to send.
I praised him for being thoughtful and we talked about what new babies need. He talked about how hard it was at first to think about sharing some of his baby things.
Then, after a few minutes, he said: Mommy? If we had a new baby, I would share all my toys. Even if it was a girl.
And I just about died.
Posted by: Elizabeth at
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1
Even if it was a girl? Wow!
Posted by: Jim at February 28, 2005 11:01 PM (MDLz3)
2
I believe that would last for as long as he got to decide exactly what he was sharing and new baby was not mobile to decide for him/herself. Still, Bear's heart is in the right place and that's just wonderful.
Posted by: RP at February 28, 2005 11:15 PM (X3Lfs)
3
Is that an announcement??? ;-)
Posted by: Stacy at March 01, 2005 01:12 AM (96yfM)
4
Lately, my son has been saying, "I need a baby sister." But guess what? He's not gettin' one! My uterus has taken early retirement.
Posted by: notdonnareed at March 01, 2005 07:18 AM (82Da3)
5
Nothing like a little hint, is there?!
Posted by: Tammy at March 01, 2005 10:14 AM (aFeo0)
Posted by: ben at March 02, 2005 06:06 AM (cMBPb)
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February 25, 2005
They still shoot messengers, don't they? (A story about Oprah Winfrey and me)
A little more than 10 years ago, I had quit my chaplaincy and I needed to make some money. So I signed up at every temp agency in town.
The first one sent me to basically do some electronic filing at the Chanel Store on Michigan Avenue. $7 an hour, I think.
I showed up in my vintage thrift store suit and my Hair Cuttery 'do and they quickly shoved me into the back room.
I was taught how to answer the phone and take messages and make coffee and where to hang up the lovely fur coats of their customers.
In between all that, they showed me the f*cked up computer they were using. That thing was as messed up as it could be and I started my actual assignment - organizing all their data and making back-ups.
At one point, they had me fetch a coat. "Hurry!" the woman snapped at me. "It's for OPRAH WINFREY!"
So I scurried, and the moment I got to the door that opened to the sales floor, the woman ripped the thing from my hands. But not before Oprah smiled at me for a nanosecond.
Afterwards, the boss lady came back and shouted. Was I an idiot? She demanded. Did I not understand the savoir-fair that is Chanel? I was not to be SEEN by customers. I was to reach just the coat through the door.
About 10 minutes later, the phone rang. It was Oprah Winfrey. She had left her sunglasses on the counter, and she was having her limo turn around. Oprah asked me my name, and I told her, and she asked if I could run the sunglasses out.
I told her the manager should do it.
She sighed and asked was there anyone else who was available?
I really felt for Oprah, there. I'd only spent 3 minutes with the manager and it was already obvious to me that she was quite the b*tch.
So when the limo pulled up a few minutes later, I quietly slipped the sunglasses to Oprah's driver. Oprah called out "Thank you, Elizabeth!" from the back.
Then I walked over to the Walgreens on some errand. But my ruse hadn't helped me, the manager came running back to scream at me the moment I returned.
Only the MANAGER spoke to Ms. Winfrey, you see. How DARE I speak to Ms. Winfrey? How DARE I not immediately inform the manager that Ms. Winfrey would be returning to Chanel?
I was fired on the spot.
As I walked down the sidewalk towards the bus stop, one of the sales associates came running up to me. She had a little Chanel shopping bag full of samples - perfumes, some make-up, and a giveaway change purse. I remember being extremely touched by her kindness.
I wear Chanel perfume, to this day.
Posted by: Elizabeth at
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1
Bless your heart!!! Hugs to you!!!
Posted by: Azalea at February 25, 2005 10:35 AM (hRxUm)
2
What a great story! Thank you for sharing that.
Posted by: Donna at February 25, 2005 12:02 PM (oCZ1O)
3
What a cool story to have! Thank you for sharing it
Posted by: AGK at February 26, 2005 03:47 AM (EN7LL)
4
Yay Elizabeth! Yay Oprah! Now when you make your first million you march right back into that Chanel store, get fitted for a suit and have the staff trackdown the asshat manager. If you wish, I can take it from there.
Always your fan,
Grace
Posted by: GraceD at February 27, 2005 04:12 AM (UgoJv)
5
Oprah TALKED to you? Wow. (Dude, I love Oprah. Sometimes I want to quit my job just so I can watch Oprah and Dr. Phil in the afternoons. LOL.)
That was a great story, thanks for sharing it with us!!!
Jen
Posted by: Jen_Jake'smom at February 28, 2005 03:38 AM (2/T1v)
6
Me too. Coco. What a great story.
Posted by: Bella Ozfemme at March 01, 2005 12:50 AM (41K2/)
7
That's the Chicago shit I am so glad I left behind. That empty cold bitterness that resides in some of these bitches. They are nothing more than hollow shells who base their image on other people's money. They are worthless human beings! I'm sorry but it is the truth!!
It brings back floods of memories of when I'd shop in Oak Brook. I didn't always doll myself up and when I didn't, the sales ladies would literally ignore me, berate me, etc. I learned to feel sorry for them. They were so insecure it was horrifying.
Posted by: Eyes for Lies at March 02, 2005 04:27 AM (QhI+Z)
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February 17, 2005
Beware the Sharks
This is how I
used to be sick (Sinus Infection, Fever, Lethargic):
Call in sick to work, pile up a few boxes of kleenex and a big trash basket, a huge jug of juice on ice, and roll the TV into the bedroom. Collapse for 24 hours. Shower, Change the sheets, Eat some soup. Repeat as needed.
This is how I spend Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday:
Propped up on pillows lying in bed with my WiFi laptop on a lapdesk and my cell plugged in with the headset attached (so I could still listen while on 'Mute' and blowing my nose). Halfheartedly working despite burning through "sick days" so I wouldn't feel guilty about the 2 hours naps I would drop into without notice.
And despite this, my leash-holder (LH) asked the executives ON TUESDAY MORNING to provide a new PM to take over some of my duties since my recent illness has made my contribution 'erratic'.
(With no diresepect meant, he hastened to say).
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1
ummm...isn't that illegal? I mean, you haven't exceeded your sick days, right?
Posted by: kalisah at February 17, 2005 02:17 PM (HRiMC)
Posted by: Elizabeth at February 17, 2005 02:54 PM (zQMD8)
3
Ugh...my heart goes out to you. Corporate hell... I don't miss it at all.
Posted by: Eyes for Lies at February 18, 2005 05:24 AM (QhI+Z)
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February 14, 2005
Green Cake for Hearts Day
Before coming down with my 3rd sinus infection in about a month, we did get some celebrating done. I've never been a big Valentine's Day fan, but once there is a kid in the house, every holiday becomes a big deal.
So yesterday while my mom was still here, Bear and his doting (and I do mean doting, in the best way) Grandmother made lots of green Valentines together. We had a special dinner (a roast) and dressed the table in red and pink and white and ate on the good china.
After dinner, we made a cake. The only thing I can bake that won't poison you. Really. I can make Fettucini Alfredo, from scratch, and it will make you purr. I can whip up a steak with potatoes Diane and a blue cheese salad that would get me a job at a steakhouse.
But I can not bake. My Tollhouse cookies are doorstops. My fudge is nauseating.
The one thing I can do is yellow cake. Usually Jiffy, but in a pinch from scratch - which is how we did it last night. Bear wanted it to be Blue for Valentine's Day, but blue food coloring + yellow batter = green cake.
That's OK, Mom. Colors are hard. You can practice, he told me.
Shockingly, even with chocolate frosting, it didn't suck. I'll take a picture of what's left (Bear really likes it) if I can stay awake long enough.
I woke up this morning thinking: Well, I'm sick. CD's got class tonight. The list of things that has to get done over the next 2 weeks is scaring me stiff. But at least we made a decent green cake for Heart's Day. That's one thing I got going for me, right?
I was wrong.
I had two things going for me. Because last night, Danny Darwin's wife left a comment on a post that is near to my heart. One of of the few that I managed to bring over from Blogspot. And I can't begin to express how that made me feel inside.
Anyway, Happy Heart's Day to everyone. I hope you get as nice a surprise as I did!
P.S. I stripped out her personal information to protect her privacy.
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1
Happy Valentine's Day! Hope you feel better soon!
Posted by: Terri at February 14, 2005 10:19 AM (LRR15)
2
Happy Valentine's Day!!! I hope you feel better and will eat lots of green cake. The "newest" companion to all the red of Valentine's.
Hugs!!
Posted by: Azalea at February 14, 2005 12:56 PM (hRxUm)
3
Best wishes for your speedy return to good health!
Posted by: RP at February 15, 2005 04:28 AM (LlPKh)
4
Hi,
I'm not Danny Darwin's wife (in fact, I'm not even sure I know exactly who he is), but I came across your site a few days ago and intend to keep visiting.
Best of luck with the job woes, and I hope you get better soon!
Posted by: madrigalia at February 15, 2005 04:22 PM (1DCPB)
5
I can cook up a storm too but ask me to bake and you'll regret it
Hope you feel better soon!
As for the Darwins, it makes you realize who might see your blog! It has me thinking
Posted by: Eyes for Lies at February 16, 2005 04:55 AM (QhI+Z)
6
Have you gone to get some antibiotics? Go to the doctor..
Have VDAy to you and yours.
Posted by: Philip at February 16, 2005 08:18 AM (17TqD)
7
Sorry you're not feeing well, but what a GREAT RedSox story. How timely with camp opening this week!
Posted by: Amy at February 16, 2005 08:33 AM (OOpF9)
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February 09, 2005
T Minus 12
Well, I have been really working hard at my job lately. Pouring myself into an overtime effort. And tomorrow morning, I give the BIG presentation. The one that really is going to knock the SOCKS of the VP. In just about 13 hours.
Through an interesting misunderstanding of the phrases "A.M." and "P.M.", my mother will be arriving at the airport at the very same time.
Priorities, Priorities, Priorities.
*sigh*
If anyone has some free time tomorrow morning, could you swing by O'Hare and pick up my mom?
Thanks.
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1
Well, I would, but I would have to make a long trip from Holland to do it and then someone would have to pick both your mother and me up from the airport, so that wont work, I think.
Posted by: irene at February 09, 2005 09:41 PM (NFaeA)
2
Sure, what airline? Oh, wait... I'm in Atlanta... never mind.
Posted by: Stacy at February 10, 2005 01:06 AM (96yfM)
3
don't leave me in suspenders... what happened at the meeting!!!
Posted by: suz at February 10, 2005 02:54 AM (GhfSh)
4
Car Service. A guy holding a sign with her name on it. I'm just saying.
Posted by: RP at February 10, 2005 03:41 AM (LlPKh)
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Knock Knock, Deux
First you have to know that CD's been tell ing this joke a lot because it really cracks him up:
Q: How many Cubists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A fish.
As most mornings, Bear crawled in bed with me while CD was in the shower. Hey Mommy, he said. I rolled over and he grinned.
Then he giggled and said:
Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Uh, a light bulb
A light bulb, who?
Have you seen my fish?
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February 07, 2005
You're Not My Friend Anymore
Friday was CD's Lasik surgery, so I was pretty tense when I picked up Bear from preschool at lunchtime. Murphy's Law dictated that, OF COURSE, Bear had had a hard time at school.
XBoy is at it again. For some reason, he and Bear are back on the "outs" and eating snack at different tables with different packs of friends. Bear's group is clearly the "B" crowd, and includes (gasp!) a girl.
Bear's teacher says that these dramas are normal for his age. Normal, maybe. But also a pain in the ass.
Impatient and distracted, I told Bear that this would pass and that he is wonderful, yada yada yada. He asked if big people are nicer, and I told him that maturity and manners do combine to make things better.
After he went down for his nap, I checked my email and saw there an invite for an old friend's birthday party. Me and Emmy used to be so close, for so long.
Then, for many years in a row, she made life decisions that had me biting my lip trying not to shout "What the fudge are you thinking?!?!"
Finally, I told her. I said, hey girl - I keep wincing watching you bang your head against that wall year after year. You know I'm always gonna have your back with an ice pack and some asperin, but has it occurred to you that you got other choices?
She said, you resent having to keep fetching me ice packs?
I said, some times, yeah. But mostly I just hurt to see you hurt.
And she said, well I'm glad you told me.
And then a few months later, she said, well I think we need a break from each other because now I'm really self-conscious about you seeing me hit my head against a wall.
And then a few months after that, she said, well I still want to be friends - but just not the kind of friends who fetch each other ice packs or talk about walls.
And then, we weren't friends anymore.
And now, I get birthday invites blind copied to me in an email. And I knew that she'd swear on a Bible that I was welcome but the smile wouldn't reach her eyes if I actually showed up.
And I thought about all the times I fetched her those ice packs. And the times she fetched me ice packs, too. And I missed her so bad, her laugh and her wit.
With a sigh, I went to Bear's room and crawled up into his loft bed and curled up right next to him. Half-awake, he moved his head over to share his pillow.
Bear, I told him, remember what I told you before in the car?
Yeah, Mommy?
That's not always true. There will always be hurts between friends. You'll just understand better because you'll have experience.
Oh.
I'm sorry, Bear.
I don't like it when my friend doesn't like me anymore.
It hurts.
Yes, he agreed, sadly.
And we looked up at the stars and planets on the ceiling. And rested our heads together. And it helped.
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Posted by: kalisah at February 07, 2005 07:36 AM (xT4wZ)
2
I too had a friend Emily (affectionately referred to by me as Emmy). For close to 10 years we were inseperable. I miss her so badly. We too parted ways for the exact same reason. I couldn't watch her not meet her potential anymore.
She got married in July... I wasn't invited. I thought about her all day and said a little prayer at the very time I knew she would be nervously walking down the aisle.
I'm comforted that you've experienced the same and I'm not a total freak for feeling what I feel. But I also feel a pull in my heart as I am brought back the memories of her.
[sigh]
Posted by: suzanne at February 07, 2005 09:40 AM (GhfSh)
3
Life can be sad when things don't work out. I think it is great you were honest with your friend in a gentle way. It's too bad she didn't want to maintain the friendship. She lost a really good friend in you.
Hugs to you...
Posted by: Eyes for Lies at February 07, 2005 06:06 PM (QhI+Z)
4
Indeed, things don't really change that much from nursery school to big people land. Its just that the cookie and hug don't help as much as they used to.
Posted by: RP at February 08, 2005 03:53 AM (LlPKh)
5
That's a tough lesson, one I'm still trying to get over.
Posted by: Kris at February 08, 2005 06:20 AM (7Etsv)
6
Thankfully, the two of you are finding comfort in each other (since you're both hurting from the same thing). I hope your "hurts" feel better soon.
Posted by: Grace at February 08, 2005 06:27 AM (UdgWp)
7
Getting dumped sucks, and dumping sucks, be it in friendship or in romance. Good on you for making sure that Bear knows the real deal, but also knows that there are ways to get through it.
Posted by: alice at February 08, 2005 06:55 AM (E3U8c)
8
I'm glad you went back and told him that. I thought I might have to come and tell him the truth myself. I'd have brought some ice packs with me though. For both of you.
Posted by: Michele at February 08, 2005 06:35 PM (jTs6K)
9
what a great way to describe friendships . . . ice packs and walls and such . . . you always make so much sense. Friends outgrow each other, and people are stupid. What you pray for is that you'll have another soul-sista out there waiting to find you. That makes it hurt a little less. A little.
jen
Posted by: Jen_Jake'smom at February 09, 2005 02:03 AM (2/T1v)
10
This whole friendship thing..it looks easier in fiction and other peoples' lives than our own, doesn't it? Try moving around a lot and see how it gets even more complicated.
Posted by: Free Spirit at February 15, 2005 07:31 AM (HvMFB)
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February 02, 2005
And I love him
Mommy, you need a joke.
I do?
Yes. Knock-knock!
Who's there?
Elephant footprints in the butter!
Um, I don't think you....
Knock-knock!
Uh, OK. Who's there?
(snorkling with laughter)
Bear? I didn't hear you.
Elephant in the butter!
Oh, ha-ha. Ok then....
Knock-KNOCK!
(sighing) Last one, ok?
KNOCK-KNOCK!
Who's there?
Banana and Orange!
Banana and Orange WHO?
I want a banana and orange you glad the Elephant didn't EAT IT?!?!
(Rolls on floor laughing hysterically with son)
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Posted by: Kelly at February 03, 2005 01:38 AM (yGR7i)
2
I'm gonna tell that one to MY 8-year-old...
Posted by: Donna at February 03, 2005 02:45 AM (oCZ1O)
3
[snort-snort] Your kid is hysterical!
Posted by: Grace at February 03, 2005 03:48 AM (UdgWp)
4
Ok, you have to go over and read this post at Fussy:
http://www.fussy.org/2005_01_01_archive.html#110667005733499878
And then read all the comments. They're full of knock knock jokes, including a bunch I hadn't heard before.
Posted by: Elizabeth at February 03, 2005 06:16 AM (v+q53)
5
Haaa! I hadn't heard that one before! I think Bear is well on the way to a career as a comedian!
Posted by: Tammy at February 03, 2005 03:57 PM (aFeo0)
6
Seems to be knock-knock joke day. Amberbamberboo posted about them too. Too cute!
Posted by: Crystal at February 03, 2005 04:11 PM (J8XCk)
7
Yes, the Fussy post is hilarious. Interrupting cow!
Posted by: Psycho Kitty at February 04, 2005 06:46 PM (lRZ1W)
8
Just checking in on y'all... have a great day!
Posted by: ben at February 07, 2005 03:27 AM (cMBPb)
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February 01, 2005
Aurea Mediocritas
If life were General Hospital, CD and I would have broken up by now. Our son would have been rapidly aged and be dating his cousin. I would have re-married a mob boss and discovered he was behind my ex-lover's unsolved murder. And CD would have discovered eight children by nine former girlfriends.
But in real life, things are about the same.
I mean, yes. About a week or so ago, we had a bit of unpleasantness. But I haven't been able to blog about it because I promised CD not to share certain stuff anymore. (Speculum warmers? Yes. Fights over the dishes? No.)
So I had to let it out in private writing, in camera. In respect for CD's wishes. I've actually kind of been stitching myself up, trying to figure out how to blog freely and honestly inside the boundaries.
I seek the Aurea Mediocritas. The Golden Mean. The place in the middle where ethics and truth mutually reside.
Has anyone else found this place?
Posted by: Elizabeth at
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1
I'm anxiously awaiting a response to this post.
Mine is not work-related, it's more personal. If you find that magical location, please hook a sistah up, willya?
xoxo
Posted by: Margi at February 01, 2005 04:50 PM (zalxZ)
2
I find the best way is to keep the blog a secret. If he knew that I wrote about our moments together for the world wide web to view, I believe that would be the end of any "moments" between us at all.
He has a blog though and has mastered this truth and ethics line. He simply blogs only about daily happenings in his life. NO emotions are on his blog whatsoever. I'm amazed and appalled all at once.
But then again, men tend to compartmentalize more than women.
Posted by: suzanne at February 01, 2005 05:02 PM (xDfQA)
3
The line is different for each person. Generally my personal postings are more about me than anybody else (well, the kids figure prominently too but I own them so it doesn't matter what I say there). If I ever post anything unflattering about somebody (except Michael Moore) it has to meet two criteria: 1) It's always something that I'd say to their face; 2) I have already said it to their face.
Posted by: Jim at February 01, 2005 10:22 PM (MDLz3)
4
I'm of the belief that place exists only in our hearts. Even then, though, it's a moving target.
You just know it when you see it.
Like love.
Or porn.
Posted by: Jennifer at February 02, 2005 02:28 AM (jl9h0)
5
It's a hard balance. No doubt...
Posted by: Eyes for Lies at February 02, 2005 04:27 AM (QhI+Z)
6
I've realized it's not possible to keep my blog a secret (I am SO easily Googled), so I don't write anything I wouldn't want DH to read about. Which means I don't write about him. Which means I don't get to be honest about a lot of things. So pretty much I'm no help here.
/
Your soap opera paragraph gave me a laugh, though. ;o)
Jen
Posted by: Jen_Jake'smom at February 02, 2005 05:43 AM (2/T1v)
7
Um, yeah, I got nothin'. Bu if you figure it out, let me know.
Posted by: Stacy at February 02, 2005 06:08 AM (NF7cp)
8
LSD.
I'm with Jen. I don't post anything I don't want Big Daddy to read (and he's an extremely private person...he doesn't even want me to discuss our private life w/ my best friend.)
That said, I save the really personal stuff for my best friend.
Posted by: kalisah at February 02, 2005 06:50 AM (B6gHW)
9
Nope. My husband is my number one blog stalker.
Posted by: amanda at February 02, 2005 09:42 AM (4totH)
10
Hi Ho!!
Y'all have already discussed what ever this latest upset was, right?? So, what is the big deal about writing something to the effect "CD and I had a difference of opinion the other day. My point of view was this that and the other." Don't express what he said; only express what you think, feel. Emphasis is on the "you of whatever you are writing" not on the "us of it."
Given what I have just written, I still wonder if CD is not doing a control/manipulation thing here. Color me paranoid if this is out of line.
You can chat about the stitching up process you are undergoing. Blogging freely about your hurt, pain, joy and love is to me clearly within these boundaries. I learned a long time ago that the most personal is the most general and the most general is the most personal. Write on and on and on without any editorial withholds!! I know you can do it.
Posted by: Azalea at February 02, 2005 09:44 AM (hRxUm)
11
This has caused such an uproar in our house. If I only write about my daughter and me, he's pissed because he's not included. But if I write about us, he's pissed because he doesn't think I should write about HIS personal life. And then if we're fighting, he'll leave comments making it KNOWN to any readers that we're fighting, which is what I was trying to avoid by not mentioning him. Ugh. Where's the line? Let me know if you find it.
Posted by: Terri at February 02, 2005 10:27 AM (LRR15)
12
There are indeed things that I so desperately want to discuss but don't. Won't. Can, but know it will cause a huge argument here, and arguments are to be avoided like the plague. My balance? I can talk about how mental I am, but not things that may make me more mental. It's not like I have been told to not write about things, it's more like writing about some of them would just raise the problems all over again.
And sometimes I sit there and word and re-word and edit all over again and then just cut sections of it, since I don't know how to get them out without causing problems.
Should you open a seperate blog? Dunno'. I can't, it would wreck the trust I have with my boy. Should I just not write about it? Guess so, only some things just eat me. Should I just email people? Could do, only it goes back to the same problem-how do I phrase things without my clumsy phrasings that seem to make things worse?
Dude. I didn't help at all.
Posted by: Helen at February 02, 2005 08:57 PM (uFX1z)
13
I was gonna say "good luck with that" which of course is about as un-helpful as it can be. I think everyone else has given great advice.
How can you let it out without letting It out? Can you tell parables, perhaps? I don't know.
I write most of what comes to mind on my blog, but I'm not as easily googled as some...
Posted by: ben at February 03, 2005 04:19 AM (cMBPb)
14
My husband doesn't even read my blog, unless he's doing it covertly. I should post a scathing diatribe about all of his faults, and see if he mentions it. But I think he's just not interested. I don't think he even read the entry that won Blogging for Books (the jerk!). ;-)
I can see CD's point, and you're doing the right thing by respecting his wishes. But sometimes your feeling are your own, and you have a right to express them. Good luck finding the balance, there!
Posted by: Kris at February 04, 2005 03:29 AM (7Etsv)
15
There's so much that I leave unsaid knowing that my family read my blog and I realize that many of my posts turn out to be very vanilla for lack of sharing. Luckily I belong to a close knit community around the netwaves and I can usually find a sympathetic ear and a shoulder or two. I also have a group of family members and friends who are just an email away...kind of modeled after the YaYa's. Thirdly, I have a little hole in the wall journal that is not for public consumption. No one reads it but me. Sometimes it just helps to write about it.
Posted by: Soccamom at February 07, 2005 12:28 PM (padu4)
16
I maintain a journal and a blog separately. The problem with this is that my "private" posts are often more interesting than my "public" ones, but at least no one's feelings are hurt. I get to record my life the way I want to in one forum, and present a slightly less specific version in a wider environment.
I also don't post when I'm livid. Waiting a day usually gives me enough time to simmer down and be fair.
Just considering the problems is a step in the right direction, I think.
Posted by: madrigalia at February 15, 2005 04:28 PM (1DCPB)
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