First of all, there are TWO new posts up by me on the Chicago Mom's Blog. I'm excited to be writing there again, because that is one cool group (who were obviously on Crack when they invited me to join!)

I am living a very, very humble life these days. There is no one I haven't failed, no one I can look in the eye and say I did right by - even though I have been trying my very best.

When my high school class graduated, they made a banner to hang over the dais. A quote from William Ernest Henley's Invictus (Invincible):

Beyond this place of wrath and tears;
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

I write this from a black chair in front of a massive old wooden desk. It is scratched and faded, like me. And sits firmly in this place of wrath and tears.

This week is traditionally a time of prayer and contemplation for me, but there is no peace for that now. Just shadows outside a fading light to fear, and a menace I can not shake or fight.

Our country is feeling the sting of the wounds that have been piling up for so many months and years. I am feeling the sting, too.

And here I sit, in this chair. After a good day. A happy one. Feeling naked and nameless.

And the opposite of unafraid.

Posted by: Elizabeth at 09:03 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 I wish there was some word or phrase I could give you, to hold against the dark. Or a bright and golden talisman to suffuse you with peace and joy. Be well, Elizabeth.

Posted by: paige at March 23, 2008 03:08 PM (5RKcg)

2 I just wanted to stop by and give you one of those big, electronic hugs that I love so much. I hope it helps, because you are such an amazing person. I found this blog looking up 'pink hair' and was sucked in by your writing style, and held here by your words. Do you know how much it helps to know that I'm not the only one out there feeling this way? Your words give me hope, even when they're sad. Don't know why. But thanks. Please keep writing. Sorry if I sound like a spaz.

Posted by: Michelle at March 26, 2008 12:25 PM (PDGc/)

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