There's one episode of the Simpsons, where Homer has all these baby pictures of Maggie up in his office, and you see the words "Do it for her".
I grok.
The good news was that there was a way to be home with my son and make enough to suport this family through the dark times. On the other hand, I have gained 50 pounds and aged 20 years since I went back to work. My mouth seems to relax into a frown. I rub my chest red trying to ease the tightness. And lately I have felt like a firecracker looking for a match. My patience is shot; my mood sour.
I've been dreaming, all these years. In the back of my tired mind. That one day things would be so much better, stronger, and in a rush of love and compassion, he'd get on a white charger and race to my rescue. Wrap me in his arms, and tell me everything was all right now. That I didn't have to carry it alone anymore.
And then, everything would be all right. Disney bluebirds would chirp in the mornings. And everytime my nose twitched, we'd win the lottery.
No, really.
My therapist said that I had to be my own hero. I guess I started today. When my boss and I got into it, she made some crack about my future career with Mega and I laughed. Next thing you know, I was telling her I was quitting my job.
Although I agreed to stay until they find my replacement.
Cue the frigging bluebirds.
1
Wow. That's a huge, brave step! But one worth making. This job was sucking the life out of you and no amount of money is worth that.
You're smart and talented and ambitious and you will strike out and make your life even better than it was before.
How's that for bluebirds?
Posted by: Lucinda at October 11, 2005 11:23 AM (OPvIN)
2
Wow.
Well, too f'ing bad for everyone else. Something else will have to be worked out. It is not in your or your familys interest for you to kill yourself indefinitely in this job.
Posted by: Robin at October 11, 2005 11:39 AM (4iJ3P)
3
Wow - Congratulations! I bet it felt great...now remember how great it felt when you start to get discouraged and second guess your decision. I couldn't be more proud of someone I don't "know".
Posted by: A at October 11, 2005 11:48 AM (lzujQ)
4
Wow. That's huge. Really.
I feel for you just now. I can't imagine the conflicting emotions you must be experiencing. And I hope the other side of this is the over rainbow you're looking for, so hard.
Your therapist is right, you know. The day I learned that was the most pivotal day of my life, too.
Posted by: Jennifer at October 11, 2005 01:11 PM (1X5Jq)
5
Hooray!
It must feel sooooo good.
Don't forget to take a moment to breathe and enjoy your freedom.
Posted by: caltechgirl at October 11, 2005 01:46 PM (7gBzo)
6
Yes!
It's behind you (cover up the rearview mirror) 'cause you only have forward to look! I've been there and it cannot be a mistake because that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger!
You will move onto something else simply because you have to. Your family will make it work because you have to. But you're in a position to find something that works better for you and your family (and your sanity). You made a decision to 'fix' this and now you can work on fixing something else you feel this job sucked the life out of!
You're in my prayers, Elizabeth!
Posted by: Trish at October 11, 2005 02:18 PM (POAga)
7
So very very very proud of you. You are a hero - most importantly of all, to Bear - and this is one of those heroic moments.
Posted by: Cheryl at October 11, 2005 02:25 PM (xz8OC)
8
One GIANT leap for Elizabeth! I am so proud of you. Now those people are going to regret every nasty & unkind word they've said to and about you.
Posted by: Grace at October 11, 2005 02:27 PM (L058b)
9
Whoa! Congratulations. I wish you all the very best, and all those blue birds too
Posted by: Kris at October 11, 2005 02:33 PM (GN/DF)
10
YAY!!!! I am so excited for you. There is a job out there that is so much better for you; a place where they appreciate your talents and appreciate the need for a work / life balance. A journey of 1,000 miles has just started with this step. I'll be there, rooting for you, all the way here in cyberspace.
Posted by: Critter's Mom at October 11, 2005 03:03 PM (YZRkN)
11
I'm doin a little dance for ya over here. Yay for you, and for bear, and for CD. This will make everyone happier in the long run. Good for you.
Posted by: suz at October 11, 2005 03:43 PM (7J651)
12
Congratulations. That was very risky and brave! Good for you!
Posted by: krisco at October 11, 2005 05:52 PM (W05sI)
13
Wow. Congratulations to you.
Posted by: B at October 12, 2005 02:29 AM (TQHLW)
14
I quit my job for good in June and I've never looked back. At that point, I was so exhausted, I probably should have been hospitalized. I also gained 50 pounds, was being checked for heart disease, etc. The job, corporate life and what we call the Rat Race is not worth losing your life over. And it was almost as though the universe was trying to tell me, in progressively strong terms, that I needed a change. But I held on, thinking that I could overcome, and I paid for that with my health. It's a fine line between being tenacious and goal-oriented...and accepting a new direction that is meant to be, albeit not conducive with one's plans. When you're finally not working, it will be an amazing time for you to spend with Bear and heal. It really doesn't hurt that much to make financial shifts and give up some of the luxuries in order to heal. You'll save a ton of money on daycare, drycleaning, gas and those little incidentials that don't get expensed when you travel. I am so, so happy for you.
Posted by: jill at October 12, 2005 02:41 AM (mPnaW)
15
I don't even know you but I'm crying tears of joy after reading this.
Rent Baby Boom. It was a corny movie based on a ridiculous premise but one thing it did well was show that Diane Keaton's character's talents weren't confined to the corporate world. It often sounds as if you think leaving this job is leaving behind your entire career and it doesn't have to be that way.
Posted by: angela at October 12, 2005 03:20 AM (MPsiZ)
16
I could not be happier for you and CD and Bear. HURRAY!
Posted by: halloweenlover at October 12, 2005 03:22 AM (cdEd4)
17
I am so happy for the three of you! Now onto greater and most rewarding things for you and your family. Hurra! Hurra! Hurra!
...I am anxiously awaiting my turn to leave corporate life behind, but will have to wait after the pregnancy and LOOOONG maternity leave!!! (I want to use up all those benefits that I sweated for, ja)
Posted by: Sol at October 12, 2005 04:13 AM (2qH2H)
18
Yes, do what Angela said and go watch Baby Boom! You will feel encouraged!
Posted by: Cheryl at October 12, 2005 06:06 AM (xz8OC)
19
Great news, I know better times are ahead for you, soon.
Posted by: Busy Mom at October 12, 2005 08:20 AM (JnTRH)
20
Yippee skippee!!! Yea, team-you go wonderful young woman!!! Here is to the first day of the rest of your spectacular life! I will drink a toast to you this evening!!
Posted by: Azalea at October 12, 2005 10:44 AM (hRxUm)
21
Congrats! I bet it is a big relief for you. You don't need that kind of crap. I wish you great things to come.
Posted by: Crystal at October 12, 2005 11:26 AM (tatlE)
22
I'm doing an endzone dance over here.
You are too bright, too talented, too wonderful to be chained to Mega any longer. Wishing you a speedy exit, and a flood of new opportunities to spread your wings.
Posted by: Jenny at October 12, 2005 03:14 PM (fcvxR)
23
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOW!
How cool.
Many congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Eyes for Lies at October 13, 2005 05:50 AM (QhI+Z)
24
Great! Good for you. Things will be just fine and even better. I like the sentiment that you have to be your own hero. It's so true. I hope to teach that to my girls before they're my age!
Posted by: Jessica at October 14, 2005 05:40 AM (Qy78d)
25
Wow. Big sigh of relief here. I'm so glad you're doing this for yourself, Elizabeth, and for your family. Wishing you happiness, and peace, and all the damn bluebirds you can possible stand.
Posted by: Kimberly at October 14, 2005 01:57 PM (Vc80e)
26
Good for you! Life is short - no sense wasting it some place that makes you so miserable. I'm sure you'll find something much better very soon.
Posted by: Jules at October 15, 2005 02:25 AM (CK4zV)
27
I'm sorry I'm so late to the party, Elizabeth. I've been wrapped up in my own foggy blanket of joy, wonder and worry (you know, my little Peanut is my miracle baby, too) that I haven't stopped by in too long.
Please allow me to say: Congratulations on taking the deep breath and saying (s'cuse me) "F$ck it!"
I've never been that high up on the food chain at work and I much prefer it that way. It's a job. It's not who I am.
With your marketable skills, you are BOUND to find something that will work for you.
It's YOUR life and YOUR health and you ARE your own hero.
And I, along with all of these other lovely people, are quite proud of you and want to hug the stuffing out of you.
Take very good care of yourself, honey.
Love, love, looooovveeee,
Posted by: Margi at October 18, 2005 07:16 PM (nwEQH)
Hide Comments
| Add Comment
